


The Guidebook

by melroihag



Category: Carmilla (Web Series), Carmilla - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Best Friends, Carm/LaF brotp, Declarations Of Love, F/F, Family Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship/Love, Heartache, Hollstein - Freeform, Love Confessions, Sibling Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-20
Updated: 2017-10-15
Packaged: 2018-09-25 20:48:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 24,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9843368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melroihag/pseuds/melroihag
Summary: Carmilla finds out that Laura accepted Danny’s marriage proposal and as a ‘goodbye’, she gifts them a guidebook written by herself, on how to take care of the girl who stole her heart from the very first moment they met.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Leave me a review with what you think? :)

Perry had told Lafontaine the moment she hung the phone up from Danny. She was equal parts excited and gutted. Excited because she knew Danny had been nervous to ask Laura in the first place, and also excited that Laura had said yes, but she was also gutted because she knew and had known for years, that Carmilla was in love with Laura and this engagement was going to crush her.

As soon as Perry had told them, LaF knew they had to warn Carmilla, and fast, despite being told by Perry to leave it and to let Laura break the news of the engagement to Carmilla, herself.  
But LaF couldn’t just leave it. They’d grown fond of the grumpy brunette, and also knew from experience, what it’s like to be in love with your best friend and not really knowing how to navigate that topic of conversation.  
They didn’t want to tell her over a text or slip it in casually during a phone call, so they went to the one place they knew she’d be. In the coffee shop.

They spotted Carmilla instantly in the plush arm chair that was unofficially deemed hers. Her arm was draped over the back of it, her leg slung lazily over the chair-arm and the book she was reading in her free hand.  
It looked like a very uncomfortable position, but judging from her features, she was quite content. LaF took a deep breath, bracing themselves for the blow that they were about to give her, ultimately ruining her good mood.

“Hey Fangs!” they smiled awkwardly, trying not to make their nerves completely obvious.  
Carmilla glanced up at them from over the top of the book in her hands.  
A small smile curved her lips as she nodded to them, “Fountain.” she greeted them, holding up two fingers, signalling she had a few more lines to read before she was finished with that chapter.

LaF sat down opposite her, wiping their palms on their jean-clad thighs and looking anywhere but Carmilla whilst they waited. They were mid-thought of how to broach the subject when the brunette huffed an impatient sigh and placed the book down in her lap.  
Carmilla’s eyes narrowed when LaF’s knee started to bounce erratically, so instead of bothering with pleasantries, she cut straight to the chase.  
Tilting her head, she sighed, “Out with it.”  
That got LaF’s attention, their gaze landing on her.  
“Hm?” they hummed instead, not trusting their voice quite yet.  
Carmilla pinched the bridge of her nose and breathed in slowly.  
“You haven’t called me ‘Fangs’ since Silas and your knee is going a hundred miles a minute.” she explained, motioning to their knee.  
LaF’s gaze dropped to their hands in their lap as they mumbled, “Well you haven’t called me ‘Fountain’ since Silas either.” grimacing at their lame attempt at avoiding the subject.

Carmilla rolled her eyes before placing the forgotten book on the coffee table in front of her, and adjusted her position so she was facing forward.  
“Don’t pull a Laura on me. Just tell me what’s up?” she said, eyeing them wearily as her brow creased with concern.  
LaF looked up at her hesitantly before answering. “It’s Laura.” they winced.  
Carmilla’s eyes widened drastically and she got to her feet almost instantly, dread masking her features.  
“What happened? Where is she? Is she okay?” she asked, the panic in her voice a reflection of that on her face.  
LaF realised where Carmilla’s thoughts had gone to and were quick to reassure her that Laura was in fact fine.  
The brunette sat down again slowly, her gaze searching their face for any clues on what the frilly hell was going on. LaF cleared their throat and took another deep breath.  
“So, Danny…” they began to say, and had to swallow their nerves when Carmilla rolled their eyes just at the mere mention of Danny’s name. “…told Perry who told me…” they were cut off.  
“Get to it, Frankenbrain.” Carmilla said impatiently.  
“SHE PROPOSED TO LAURA AND LAURA SAID YES.” they blurted out, rather loudly. They cowered from the disapproving glances from strangers sat around them, their gaze landing finally on Carmilla.

LaF waited with baited breath for any emotional response from the brunette, but nothing came. Carmilla just sat in the armchair silently, the words sinking in and expertly cutting her up from the inside out.  
LaF didn’t know how much time had passed before Carmilla finally moved. Her face remained expressionless, but she nodded her head, slowly at first and then a little faster as she huffed a laugh and raised to her feet.  
LaF copied her, standing and waiting for the inevitable breakdown, but what they didn’t expect was for Carmilla to stretch her arms above her head, take a deep breath in and exhale with a small smile on her face.  
“Do you wanna go for a drink later?” Carmilla asked out of the blue and LaF’s jaw hung open for a split second.  
“A drink? Sure! Drinks later sounds good.” they agreed quickly, an uneasy feeling settling in their stomach.  
“Great, I’ve gotta go do something but I’ll text you later, okay?” she offered with a smile, that even LaF knew was a mask to hide her true feelings on the matter.  
“Just you and me?” they asked hesitantly, scuffing their boot on the floor.  
Carmilla shook her head laughing to herself, “Preferably, please.” her tone was more a plea than a question and she smiled gratefully when LaF nodded in understanding.  
“Awesome.” she said a little too cheerfully, before turning to pack her things into her bag, avoiding LaF’s line of sight. “Thanks for telling me by the way. I’m really happy for the two of them.” she surprised even herself with how her voice didn’t break.  
As she passed LaF on the way out of the coffee shop, she squeezed their shoulder and mumbled a “See you later.” before disappearing out the door.

Lafontaine was genuinely surprised by how - seemingly - well Carmilla had taken the news. They were also kinda impressed that she’d even remembered their old nicknames for each other from back at Silas. That was until they sank back down into their seat, sighing in relief and their eyes landed on the book on the table before them.  
A chill ran down their spine not a second after and the uneasy feeling in their stomach made itself known once again, because Carmilla never just ‘forgot’ about a book.  
They reached forward and turned the book over, their shoulders slumping as they found it to be the first Harry Potter book. LaF opened the first page, knowing exactly what they’d find before they even caught sight of it. Laura’s ‘This book belongs to’ sticker. Laura had been begging Carmilla to read it for years, and the fact she left it behind, Laura’s copy to be exact, solidified the conclusion that Carmilla was anything but fine with Laura’s engagement.

 

Carmilla went straight home. Her chest was heavy and her head was throbbing. She’d surprised even herself with how composed she’d been when LaF had finally just told her.  
She went to her room and rang her sister, putting it on loud speaker and resting the device on her bed as she climbed to the top of her closet to grab her huge bag.

“Matska.” the formal tone of her sister’s voice made Carmilla roll her eyes, and a small smile curve her lips at the sound of her voice.  
“Is that any way to greet your sister?” she asked, stumbling out of the closet and opening the huge empty bag on her bed.  
“Mircalla, you haven’t spoken to me in almost two months.” she said, clearly annoyed.  
Carmilla’s smile dropped just as her heart did again, “Then I don’t suppose you’ll mind me moving in for awhile then?” she asked, shaking her head self-deprecatingly as she sat on the edge of her bed.  
“What’s happened?” is all Mattie says, her voice no longer annoyed and instead extremely worried.  
Carmilla tried to clear the lump from her throat but failed as her voice broke.  
“I-I just miss you.” she closes her eyes to stop the unbidden tears from building.  
Carmilla knew that Mattie knew something wasn’t right, that the reason for her impromptu visit wasn’t just because Carmilla missed her sister, and a moment of silence passed before Carmilla hears her sister’s voice again.  
“I have a few meetings today, so I won’t be home until late… so bring your spare key with you. Do you need me to have somebody come and pick you up?” she asked, sounding a little distracted.

Carmilla sighed in relief and held the phone up to her mouth, her head turning to glance at the open bag beside her.  
“No, it’s alright. I’ll get a lift from Will or just get the train. Thanks Mattie.” her voice got quiet towards the end.  
“Always, Kitten. I’ll see you tonight if you’re still up by the time I get in.” Mattie was smiling, you could hear it in her voice.  
This made Carmilla smile just a little too. “I’ll be up.” she promised before the line went dead.  
She put her phone on charge on her bedside table, before stuffing ‘the essentials’ into the bag and leaving it by the door for later. Now all she had to do was write something she’d been meaning to for awhile now and remember to give it to LaF later.

Carmilla made her way over to her beloved old fashioned typewriter and sat down slowly. Laura popped into her head then, causing an involuntary grin to etch itself onto her face.  
She replaced the paper and began to type up a guidebook on how to properly look after one, Laura Eileen Hollis.

A lump grew in her throat, for the second time that day, as she was typing, the whole ordeal just bittersweet. There was nothing she wanted more in this world than for Laura to be happy… she’d just always imagined and wished that it would’ve been with her.  
Even before she realised just how deep her feelings for the tiny bronze haired beauty ran, she’d always pictured the two of them together. Whether it was romantically or not, she didn’t truly know, but none of that mattered now.  
Laura had Danny to take care of her now. Not that she didn’t before, but with the news of the engagement, any flicker of hope Carmilla had was now snuffed out. Laura deserved to be happy and whether or not she wanted to admit it, Xena made her happy. So Carmilla would do what was essentially for the best, remove herself from the situation entirely and get out of town. She’ll go and stay with Mattie for as long as she needs to, until she figures out her next step.


	2. Chapter 2

Usually when Carmilla would write, she’d fall in and out of writer’s block, but she had been writing this guidebook-of-sorts, for nearly six hours straight. Carefully and thoughtfully planning out each step to write, creating multiple drafts and editing each furiously before the wording reached her high standards. Occasionally she laughed to herself as a memory of herself and Laura would play in her mind and a small tug on her heart would ache, reminding her of the engagement, reminding her that this was her joint wedding present and farewell to Laura. Tears sprang to her eyes at the thought of leaving later that night without saying a proper goodbye - in person - to her best friend. But it had to be this way because if she saw Laura, she knew she wouldn’t be able to leave.  
And Laura deserved better than for her to wear a fake smile all the time when Danny is around them, which is what she had done since Danny and Laura first started dating. It’s exhausting to pretend to be happy for them, even if that does sound selfish, because she deserves better too. Better than to spend forever in love with her best friend who will never feel the same way about her. So she decided in that moment that it was time she moved on with her life. _‘Who knows, maybe I’ll find someone else to love one day… someday, maybe.’_ she thought to herself, cursing under her breath as hazel eyes and golden-brown hair flooded her thoughts.

She finished the guidebook and accompanying letter, and folded the pages into an envelope, sealing it with the wax seal kit that Laura had gotten her for her birthday. A personalised ‘K’ stamp for Karnstein.  
Once her bag was packed with the essentials, she slung it over her shoulder, turned the lights in her apartment off and locked the door behind her, before making her way over to LaF and Perry’s place. 

Perry answered the door and looked confused to see her. “Carmilla.” she greeted her, forcing a half-hearted smile.  
“Hey, is LaF here? We’re supposed to be going for drinks, I just thought I’d pick them up on my way there.” Carmilla asked, looking behind Perry for any sign of the ginger nerd.  
“They actually just left about fifteen minutes ago. They should be at The Lustig by now.” Perry said folding her arms across her chest.  
Carmilla nodded her head and started to take a few steps back, “Right, okay thanks!” she raked a hand through her hair, her thoughts racing a mile a minute. 

Just as Perry was about to close the door, Carmilla stopped it promptly with her foot.  
“Can you actually do me a favour?” she asked, one hand on the door and a pleading look in her eyes.  
Perry’s chest tightened uncomfortably at the obvious hurt Carmilla was trying - and failing - to hide behind her cracking facade. She didn’t trust her voice so she nodded instead.  
Carmilla grabbed something out of her bag and hesitantly handed over a bulky envelope. “Could you hold onto this for me?” she asked, a foreign vulnerability creeping into her voice. The brunette scratched the back of her head in a nervous tick, her eyes reluctantly leaving the parcel in Perry’s capable hands, unwilling to meet her pitiful gaze. 

Perry took one look at the name on the front and smiled apologetically at Carmilla as she gently took the weighty envelope from her.  
“Of course.” she said but the brunette was already retreating back down the road she came, bag slung over her slumped shoulder once again.  
Perry couldn’t help but feel bad for the poor girl. She placed the package on the coffee table and went back in the kitchen to finish cooking.  
Danny and Laura were going to be there in an hours time, so she had a lot to get done before then, including putting up a congratulations banner and a fabulous spread of homemade treats. 

Upon seeing the pity in Perry’s eyes, Carmilla had mentally berated herself for getting herself into this situation in the first place. Of course Laura wouldn’t love her, at least not in the way she needed.  
She heaved the door to The Lustig open for the last time, for awhile at least, and snapped out of her thoughts as soon as she saw LaF’s face light up, smiling from across the bar at her. Probably surprised that Carmilla actually kept her word and showed up.  
They waved her over and as Carmilla grew closer, the smile from their face dropped and their brows drew together in confusion at the bag on her back.  
Carmilla dropped the bag to her feet and plopped herself down opposite her friend with an elongated sigh.  
“Going somewhere?” they asked instead of a proper greeting.  
Carmilla waved their comment away and ordered shots and a whisky and coke. 

LaF waited with baited breath for an explanation, but just as they predicted Carmilla avoided the topic like the plague.  
“So, how was your day? Anything interesting happen since I saw you this morning?” the brunette asked, taking a sip of her drink.  
LaF eyes narrowed as she avoided the question, but nonetheless humoured her by answering.  
“Perry invited Danny and Laura over for dinner.” they said quietly, examining every twitch of the brunette’s face.  
Carmilla huffed a short laugh and shook her head as her laughing increased. LaF sat staring at her, wondering if this was the beginnings of a mental breakdown, whilst simultaneously wondering if they’d said something funny. 

Carmilla pushed a shot glass towards LaF and raised her own.  
“To Friendship!” she laughed, clinking her glass against LaF’s before knocking back the contents or hers and slamming it back down on the bar top.  
Lafontaine had driven to the bar and so placed the glass down and opted for a lime and soda instead.  
“I know I’m not the easiest of people to get along with, and you probably only put up with me for Laura’s sake, but… thanks.” she said patting LaF on the shoulder as unbidden tears sprung to her eyes.  
LaF was speechless for a moment, they genuinely didn’t know what to say. Carmilla only ever showed this softer, more vulnerable side of herself to Laura. But when the brunette hummed and was nearly half-way through her drink, they cleared their throat, gaining Carmilla’s attention.  
“Laura was the reason I even spoke to you that first time at Silas.” they admitted and Carmilla nodded her head, a sad but wistful smile on her face.  
“And you can be a complete pain in the ass sometimes.” they added smiling, which caused Carmilla to huff a laugh and roll her eyes.  
“But you won me over with your infectious charm and wit.” they teased lightly.  
Carmilla bumped her shoulder against LaF’s and for the first time, felt reassured.  
“I need you to do me a favour.” she said, her eyes locking on the napkin she was currently tearing into tiny pieces.  
“Mhm?” LaF hummed, brow raised in question, their gaze fixing on Carmilla over their glass as they took another drink.  
“I wrote something… it’s at your house… and when Laura and Danny come over later, I need you to give them both the envelope.” she said, her voice solemn and her features suddenly free from any emotion at all. 

LaF choked on their drink and their face went red as Carmilla patted them on the back, concern furrowing her brow.  
They were touched that the brunette even cared about their well being. She wasn’t the most open about her feelings, although they’re willing to bet that Laura would say otherwise.  
Only when LaF nodded that they were okay did Carmilla’s shoulders ease ever-so-slightly.  
“I can do that for you. On one condition.” they agreed, then eyed her warily as they prepared to bargain.  
Carmilla pinched the bridge of her nose before taking a deep breath in and exhaling through her nose.  
“I suppose that’s only fair.” she agreed, trying desperately to hide the pain in her eyes as she looked up at LaF hesitantly from beneath her eyelashes.  
LaF’s glance switched between a very small looking Carmilla and her huge duffle bag. A horrible feeling sinking to their stomach. 

“Just…” they rethought what they were going to say when Carmilla winced.  
“Just don’t be a stranger, alright?” they amended, patting her on the shoulder.  
Carmilla was grateful they didn’t ask her where she was going or how long for because honestly, she had no idea herself. So instead, she stood up and wrapped them in a awkward one-armed hug and pressed a kiss to the side of their head before ruffling their hair up, just because she knew they hated when she did that.  
“Hey, watch it Karnstein.” LaF glared at her, fixing their hair.  
“Can you give me a lift to the station?” she asked, gathering her bag up off the floor.  
“Sure.” they said finishing their drink and leaving tips on the bar top. 

The car was filled with companionable silence as Lafontaine stopped just outside the train station.  
It was a clear night out, the stars shining brightly as Carmilla stared up at them. A shooting star flew past and Carmilla sighed with an involuntary smile on her face as Laura’s face filled her mind.  
“She’s the shooting star I wasn’t fast enough to wish on.” she huffed a small self-deprecating laugh, before patting LaF on the shoulder and giving it a little squeeze.  
“Take care of yourself, Fountain.” she said, opening the car door and retrieving her bag from the backseat, before saluting and making her way into the station.  
“You too, Fangs.” they whispered, waiting for her to disappear from sight before driving home to help Perry with dinner preparations. 

Carmilla had made it just in time to catch her train. She slumped into the seat with her bag on her lap, resting her head back and closing her eyes.  
Emotionally and physically exhausted, she let her phone go straight to voicemail. Three missed calls and five unanswered messages from ‘Cupcake’. Unable to hold back any longer, she finally allowed her heart to break as the train pulled away from the station.  
The bag on her lap feeling three times as heavy, as thoughts of Laura ran through her mind. She blinked away the traitorous tears that dared to fall, her gaze on her reflection in the window.  
Reminding herself that she’ll be seeing Mattie for the first time in ages did nothing to dull the ache in her chest, but the tears stopped and she clutched her oversized bag closer to her chest as she let her eyes close once more, letting her breathing sync with that of the sound of the train on the tracks. 


	3. Chapter 3

Danny went to help Perry in the kitchen with plating up food, taking with her the bottle of wine she and Laura had brought with them.  
Laura’s brow creased and she sighed in frustration, raking a hand through her golden-brown hair as she paced the room.  
Carmilla hadn’t answered any of her calls or even read her texts. She knew she hadn’t seen her in about a week or so, but still she was pretty sure that Carmilla was never too busy to answer her calls.

Danny entered the living room again and sat on the couch whilst they waited for Lafontaine to arrive home so they could all eat. She pat the space next to her and Laura sat down pouting as she leant her head against her - now - fiancee’s shoulder.  
“Babe, what’s wrong?” Danny asked, playing with the ends of Laura’s hair.  
Laura sat up straight, a permanent frown on her face.  
“Carm’s not answered any of my calls. I’ve text her like twelve times too. It’s just not like her to be radio silent.” she worried, her gaze lingering on her phone before looking up at Danny.  
She looked up just in time to see Danny’s eye roll and dramatic sigh, where she covered her face with both hands and sat forward, resting her elbows on her knees.

Perry entered the room then with placemats draped over her forearm.  
“Hey, Perr?” Laura asked, ignoring Danny’s reaction.  
“Yes, Dear?” Perry asked as she set the table.  
“Did you invite Carm? She hasn’t answered any of my calls and I haven’t seen her in awhile.” Laura worried her bottom lip between her teeth.  
Danny got up and went back into the kitchen hastily. Perry’s eyes followed the tall woman until Laura called her name to get her attention.  
“Hm? Oh, Sorry. Yes, I saw Carmilla earlier today actually. She was meeting with Lafontaine for drinks.” she said walking over to the coffee table in front of Laura.  
“She left this.” Perry said, tracing the wax seal on the back with her fingertip, “I guess she’ll tell Lafontaine what it’s about.”

A loud bang of crashing pans sounded, followed by a “Sorry!” coming from the kitchen, causing Perry to drop the envelope to the table again and return to the kitchen.  
Laura picked the envelope up and turned it over. A small involuntary smile curved her lips as she also trailed her fingers over the regal-looking wax seal. It dawned on her only for a split second before she recognised the intricately designed ‘K’. It was the stamp she’d gifted Carmilla for her birthday, and she briefly wondered if this was the first time she’d used it.  
She’d bought the wax seal kit as a joke because she was always teasing Carmilla, about how writing letters was a dying form of communication and how she was so old fashioned and clearly born in the wrong era.

Her breath caught audibly when she turned the bulky envelope over to find Carmilla’s familiar handwriting. She was also jealous of how beautiful her handwriting was, and still is. ‘Laura’ was written in beautiful cursive script.  
Laura’s interest piqued when she saw that whatever inside was typed up on old looking paper. Carmilla never ever EVER used her typewriting for anything other than her books she’d write.  
Laura felt her stomach twist uneasily as she pulled the contents of the package out, her eyes drinking in every typed word.  
The top of the first page was titled, _‘The Guidebook to taking care of Laura Eileen Hollis’ ___with the subtitle reading, _‘Helpful tips for the lucky one she falls in love with.’ ___

Laura’s brows furrowed in confusion, when the small voice in the back of her head pieced everything together. Her eyes nearly came out of their sockets and her mouth ran dry. She couldn’t possibly have read that right.  
The sound of the front door closing startled her, making her head snap up instantly and finding a glum looking Lafontaine turning to stare over at her.  
“Laura.” was all they managed to get out, shock written all over their face. LaF’s eyes flickered down to the half-open package in her hands and then back up to Laura’s curious hazel eyes. 

Danny was standing in the doorway to the kitchen then and Laura turned to look up at her fiancee, just as LaF crossed the room, snatching the package from Laura’s lap and putting everything back in the envelope and leaning against the back of one of the dining chairs, breathing deeply.  
“What’s going on?” Danny asked hesitantly, her gaze switching from a lost-looking Laura to a tense Lafontaine.  
“Who gave you that?” Danny pointed toward the padded envelope in their iron-clad grasp, as she took her place back next to Laura on the couch. 

Instead of answering Danny, LaF trained their gaze on Laura. The silent questions in her hazel eyes making LaF’s stomach drop. They looked over at her apologetically, but their stance was one of bracing for an argument.  
“Look, I promised her I wouldn’t give it to you until it was the right time. So can we just pretend this never happened.” they clearly weren’t asking, not by the unfriendly hint lacing their tone.  
Laura narrowed her eyes at their tone and raised to her feet, crossing the room and snatching the envelope back.  
“Who did you promise?” she asked, her voice high as she scowled at LaF, knowing full well who it was.  
Perry appeared in the room then, completely oblivious to the tension in the room.  
“Oh, you’re back! How was your drinks with Carmilla?” she asked cheerfully.  
LaF plastered a half-hearted smile to Perry before reaching for the parcel from Laura.  
Laura took a step back, just out of LaF’s reach, and tilted her head in question.  
“Drinks with Carm? You actually had drinks with her? I thought Perry was joking. Carm never _‘just has drinks’_ with anyone.” she said amused before adding, “Why were you having drinks with her?”  
“Contrary to popular belief, she does have other friends Laura.” LaF mumbled just loud enough for everyone in the room to hear, earning themselves a glare and scolding from Perry.  
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Laura scoffed as if it were the most absurd thing she’d ever heard. Of course Carmilla had friends. That’s not what she’d meant.  
“It was just a goodbye drink.” they said suddenly, their eyes leaving Perry’s and landing on Laura. 

Laura’s face paled and it was Danny’s turn to scoff.  
“Goodbye? Where are you going?” the tall redhead asked them, completely unaware of Laura frozen in place.  
LaF wasn’t Danny’s biggest fan, maybe they were biased since they’d grown closer to Carmilla, but her attitude was starting to seriously piss them off.  
“ **I’m** not going anywhere.” LaF said, directing their gaze to Danny briefly before gauging Laura’s reaction.  
“Where is she?” was all Laura said, her free hand curling into a fist at her side, as she clutched the envelope closer to her chest with the other.  
LaF’s gaze dropped to the floor and they scuffed their boot on the carpeted floor, scratching the back of their neck, in the nervous tick they’d picked up from the girl in question. They were so conflicted in that moment, as a friend of both Laura and Carmilla all they wanted was for the both of them to be happy, and after all Carmilla had been through, she deserved a chance at happiness, so they decided not to tell Laura where they had just dropped her off. 

Lafontaine’s stand-offish attitude was making Laura blood boil with thinly-veiled rage.  
“I’m just gonna go…” Laura grabbed her phone and turned toward the front door, only to have Danny stand up and directly in front of her, stopping her from reaching the door.  
“Babe, I’m sure she’s fine.” she said gently, running her hands down Laura’s arms.  
“Yeah, I wouldn’t bother.” LaF mumbled, trying to disguise their comment behind a fake cough, gaining themselves a swat round the back of the head from Perry, a confused look from Danny and a dangerously angry glare Laura Hollis.  
“What do you mean? Carmilla has been purposefully ignoring Laura’s calls? That’s bitchy.” she frowned.  
Laura was struggling to keep her breathing under control.  
LaF decided it was about time someone shed some light on the matter, so bracing themselves from the onslaught of Perry’s deadly glares, they peered down at their feet, scowling themselves.  
“Well, I don’t blame her. I’d do the same thing if I were in her situation.” they cleared their throat, levelling their gaze with Laura’s. 

Perry rolled her eyes and placed her hands on her hips, staring pointedly at Lafontaine.  
“Susan.” she said sternly, her words laced with an unspoken warning.  
“What is _that_ supposed to mean?” Laura asked, her voice angry and her expression hurt.  
“One dinner.” Perry sighed exasperatedly, “I just wanted one god damned dinner!” she flustered, before slouching into one of the dining chairs in defeat.  
“You might as well read what she’s written.” Perry said motioning to the envelope in Laura’s grasp. 

Laura looked to LaF who gave up and just nodded, slumping into the chair opposite Perry. Laura then looked to her fiancee who was waiting expectantly and took a deep breath. She pulled the contents out of the package once more and flipped to the second page, reading it aloud; 

****__

As her Best Friend of fifteen years, I’ve been lucky enough to accumulate in-depth knowledge and therefore develop different ways of looking after one, Miss Laura Eileen Hollis, and seeing as she’s said yes to your proposal, it just shows me that you make her extremely happy. So for that, I want to thank you and as my ‘thank you’, I’m going to share with you some secrets that you may or may not know, in order to truly deserve her.

Laura was in shock, looking up at LaF in disbelief, whilst Danny was staring at her with a smug smile playing on her lips. Perry rest her elbow on the table and covered her eyes with her hand, staying silent.  
LaF smiled apologetically at Laura, nodding encouragingly for her to continue reading, so she did flicking the pages over and reading aloud once more.

_Tip #1: Don’t pressure her to do anything she doesn’t want to do. She is a strong individual and will do things in her own time when she is ready, sure and one hundred percent comfortable._

Tip #5: She might not tell you when she’s sad, but if you detect even the slightest change in her behaviour/attitude, then make sure to let her know you’re there if she needs to talk, and do not forget to remind her of how much you love her.

Tip #9: Sometimes she’ll say things that’ll make you mad at her, probably more often than not, but I promise you that she’s only ever got good intentions at heart.

Tip #14: She’s scared of literally everything, so if you take her to see a scary movie, the make sure you hold her hand, damn it.

Tip #20: She’s one of - if not - the funniest person I’ve ever met. She’ll always try her best to make you laugh/smile when you’re upset. She’s great at cheering people up just from her blinding smile alone.

Tip #21: She likes funny people, so please do all you can to make her laugh wherever and whenever you can. Her laugh is the single most beautiful sound in this entire universe, so don’t take hearing it regularly for granted.

Tip #26: Make sure you compliment her at every chance you get because she deserves to be told how truly incredible she is everyday.

Tip #37: She has the purest heart, so do everything in your power to protect it with every fibre of your being if need be. Don’t ever let her think she isn’t good enough.

Tip #44: She likes to make pinky promises, so if you make one with her, you better not break it. You have to stick by them.

Tip #50: You’re going to have to like Doctor Who because it’s her favourite show. If you don’t like it, well… that’s just not an option. You’ll have to learn to love it.  
Tip #56: Don’t ever miss a day of telling her how much you love her, or of how beautiful and amazing she is.

Tip #72: It’s a huge plus if she tells you that her father likes you. Sherman Hollis is the most protective and loving man. Show him nothing but the utmost respect.

Tip #80: NEVER lie to her. Always be honest with her, even if it’s brutal, because she deserves to know that she has someone she can trust wholeheartedly.

That’s all the tips I can think off the top of my head, to give you going into your married life.  
I honestly can’t thank you enough for loving this spectacular human being. I’ve been fortunate enough to call her my Best Friend for more years than I deserved, and that’s the one thing I’m most grateful for in my life.  
So, congratulations on the engagement, but most importantly, congratulations even more so, on the fact that your partner in life is quite simply the Eighth Wonder of the World.

Laura’s eyes were stuck halfway out of their sockets. The room was eerily quiet, Danny hadn’t uttered a word, Perry had reached across the table and was gently rubbing soothing circles on the back of Lafontaine’s hand. LaF was sat holding Perry’s hand and staring at the table cloth sadly.

The last piece of paper was folded in half and addressed to ‘Sweetheart’, the nickname causing her heart to stop momentarily, then almost in the same instant, pick up speed. The ache in her chest to throbbed painfully as she unfolded the piece of paper, fear shooting into Laura’s gut like a knife as her breathing became shallow as her eyes cast over the words once, twice, three times.

__

Cupcake,

I’m so sorry to leave at such short notice without saying goodbye, but you know I was never any good with those.  
I want to congratulate you on getting engaged, I know it’s what you’ve always wanted.  
My only regret is that I can’t be there to witness that breathtaking smile of yours, light up your face as you say “I do” to spending the rest of your life with someone you adore.

You gave me the best years of my life and for that I can never repay you.  
But as my last gift to you, I’ve left.  
I’m truly sorry that my less than pleasant attitude toward your ladylove, has caused you unnecessary grief and stress. Yes, LaF and I have spoken and I know I made you feel like you had to ‘choose’ between Danny and I, and I should never have made it an option. That was entirely unfair of me, and I deeply regret any pain caused because of this.

I know you’ll probably never forgive me for not being able to attend the most important day of your life, and I’ll just have to live with that.  
But after years of keeping this secret, I thought it was time to let it go finally, and who better to share it with than my Best Friend?

**Laura, I am completely and irrevocably in love with you.  
And I always have been. **

Ever since we first met I’ve been enchanted by you.  
All of my favourite memories involve you. One that sticks out significantly, is our first day at Silas. I had no idea you were my roommate, and was honestly so glad it was you.  
Despite the harrowing study sessions and the copious amount of cookies we ate, I thank my lucky stars for being gifted with the most infuriatingly adorable and prissy roommate of all time. 

_I’ve written, rewritten and re-rewritten this so many god damned times, I don’t want to forget anything important. But I think I’ve said all I need to._

_All I want is for you to be happy, Laura._  
So travel and see as much of the world as you can, and know that I’ll be thinking of you always.  
I wish you nothing but the best, Cupcake. 

Just one more thing, though and I want you to remember this because it’s the most important thing that I’ll ever say.  
_**Laura Eileen Hollis,  
The second best thing in my life was falling in love with you.  
The first was finding you. __**_****

_**Yours always,** _

**_CK_**

Silent tears fell down her cheeks as her heart shattered in her chest. She couldn’t see through her tear-blurred vision but she could hear Lafontaine’s sniffles and Perry’s murmurs of ‘It’ll be okay, Sweetie.’  
Danny was the first one to speak, standing up and straightening her shirt.  
“Typical, Karnstein.” Danny scoffed in disbelief, raking a hand through her hair.  
Laura spun on her heel and faced her fiancee, cradling the letter to her chest.  
“Typical?” Laura frowned, her voice breaking.  
Danny looked from Laura to Perry, to LaF and back to Laura before she spoke again.  
“Come on, Laura… you can’t be serious. You’re telling me that you had no idea Carmilla was in love with you? All these years?” Danny laughed.  
Laura grew self-conscious as she looked over at Perry and LaF, the remnants of her heart disintegrating into nothing as she took in their apologetic and disappointed faces. 

Laura was still trying to process everything, feeling completely overwhelmed she ran to the stairs, taking two at a time and locked herself in the bathroom.  
Every interaction she’d ever had with Carmilla played in her head. How had she been so stupid? How had she been so god damn clueless? The thought of not having Carmilla in her life caused her knees to buckle beneath her.  
She collapsed with her back against the bathroom door, her breathing laboured as sobs built in her chest. Laura pulled her knees up to her chest, the letter falling to the floor beside her as she hugged her arms around her legs, in a futile attempt to keep herself from breaking into pieces.  
Struggling to gain control of her breathing, the pounding in Laura’s ears grew louder and louder, before everything went black.  



	4. Chapter 4

Carmilla trudged off of the train with her bag slung across her.  
Will was waiting patiently with his hands behind his back, searching over the tops of heads of other passengers, for his sister. As soon as he spotted her, he called her name and waved.  
He made his way over to her as she stopped still, lifting the bag over her head and dropping it at her feet.  
By the time he reached her, Carmilla’s bottom lip was quivering and he swiftly gathered her up into his arms. The bouquet of flowers he had been hiding behind his back, accidentally smacked her in the face, so he placed them down on top of her bag before pulling her closer properly, hugging tightly.

Despite being the middle child, Will was - and always had been - fiercely protective of both his sisters. He knew that Carmilla never showed much emotion unless it were with himself, Mattie or Laura, the people she felt safest with. Now she was down one of those, and his heart broke as he felt her hold onto him for dear life.  
“Hey Kitty.” he crooned, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head and swaying them from side to side.  
He received sniffles in response and rubbed her back soothingly.  
“It’s good to see you, Mills.” he squeezed her gently.  
Will had always called Carmilla, ‘Mills’ when they were younger. The old nickname made her smile slightly as she pulled back.  
“It’s good to see you too, Willy Boy.” she laughed half-heartedly, wiping the stray tears from her cheeks self-consciously.  
Sometimes she forgot that she didn’t have to be self-conscious around him, and he hated it when she closed herself off from him.  
He lifted her chin with his thumb and forefinger gently and looked into her eyes.  
“I missed you.” he said, the sincerity in his voice causing Carmilla to close her eyes briefly and take a deep breath.  
“I’ve missed you too.” she sighed, resting her head on his shoulder for a moment.  
He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, picked up her bag and the bouquet of flowers before leading them out of the station.

He stowed her bag in the trunk and passed her the bouquet of flowers when he sat in the driver’s seat.  
“For you.” he winked and Carmilla rolled her eyes, but smiled at her brother’s dorky gesture.  
“Thank you, William.” she said, her finger tracing the petals of the flowers before she leant her head against the window and the car roared to life.  
William knew how Carmilla got when she was in this bad head space, so he turned the radio on low, just so there was some noise to drown out the voices in her head, and drove the rest of the way to Mattie’s apartment in silence.

 

Once they arrived at Mattie’s apartment, William insisted on carrying her bag upstairs for her. Carmilla didn’t have enough energy to argue with him, so she just dragged her feet as she entered the building, holding the doors open for him.  
Will placed Carmilla’s bag in the spare room and found his sister in the kitchen. He knew he had to tread lightly on the reason for his sister’s broken demeanour. He was an expert in how to handle her, due to growing up closely together, but after having not seen her for awhile, he felt a little nervous.

Carmilla threw the grape soda from the fridge, in the trash and the cookies from the cupboard also in the trash. Will swallowed, unsure if he should even broach the subject seeing as she was already getting rid of any reminders of her Best Friend.  
He sat on the kitchen stool and scratched the back of his head, doing his best to act nonchalant, even though Carmilla had her back to him.  
“So…” he started and immediately stopped when Carmilla sighed exasperatedly, resting her hands on the counter.  
He waited for her to say something, but she didn’t. She just stood hunched over, taking deep breaths in and out.  
“We don’t have to talk about it.” he said quickly.  
“Good.” she groaned.  
“But I do know why you’re upset.” he added, the knot in his stomach twisting as she turned to face him.  
Carmilla didn’t say anything, but tilted her head in response with a raised brow, silently asking him to continue his train of thought.

Will’s glasses had slipped halfway down his nose, so he fixed them, using the opportunity to turn his attention away from his sister’s piercing gaze.  
“Kirsch told me about the engagement.” he mumbled and coughed, looking back up at her hesitantly.  
Carmilla nodded slowly, her eyes glazed over in some sort of daydream.  
Will cracked his knuckles before standing, the noise of the stool moving, shaking Carmilla out of her trance.  
“Anyway, I’m here… but you know that, and if you need anything, yada, yada, yada…” he gestured wildly with his hands, causing Carmilla to roll her eyes and fold her arms across her chest. A small smile playing on her lips.  
She was grateful to him, she just wasn’t one for saying so, so instead she rounded the island in the kitchen and wrapped her arms around him.

Will smirked and hugs her again. Carmilla could feel him grinning into her hair and pulled back slightly, to punch him playfully in the arm.  
“Now get outta here! I’m sure you’ve got a million things to do.” she said, pushing him gently towards the door to the apartment.  
He rubbed his bicep dramatically and frowned at her when he reached the door.  
“Before I forget, I’m going to Kirsch’s tomorrow to watch the game. Is there anything you need me to pick up from your place? You can’t have packed much in that bag you brought with you.” he asked politely, leaning in the doorway.  
“I’ll have a think and text you later if I need anything. Now go!” she laughed half-heartedly, as he waved before closing the door behind him.

Carmilla’s favourite thing about Mattie’s apartment was the piano. Her Father had taught each of his children how to play from when they were very little, and after he passed away Carmilla was the only one who carried it on. Will occasionally played, very rarely though, and Mattie had only bought the elegant black piano for Carmilla.  
After their Father had passed, Mattie had noticed that the only time her sister truly let her emotions out, was when she was sat at the piano. She’d watch from the crack in the door as Carmilla played for hours and hours. Sometimes tears running down her face, other times a wistful smile. She’d make up the most exquisite melodies and hum along as she played. Watching Carmilla play was one of Mattie’s fondest childhood memories, and if Carmilla were honest, one of hers too.

She showered and changed into sweats and a tank top, pulling her hair into a messy bun on top of her head. Checking the time on her phone, she quickly sent a text to Will, asking him to retrieve her guitar from her apartment, on his way back from Kirsch’s, also telling him to use his spare key to her place. Turning her phone off, she placed it on the coffee table before finding herself at the piano.  
For the next hour and a half, Carmilla sat at the piano. A wine glass in one hand as the fingers of her free hand, danced across the keys in a graceful pattern. The familiar melody causing an involuntary smile to curve her lips and her eyes to close. For the first time that day, heck probably that month, she felt content.

 

Mattie entered the apartment, a shit-eating grin forming on her face as she heard the sound of the piano echo down the hallway.  
She tiptoed down the hallway and peered through the crack in the door, a strong sense of de ja vu washing over her as flashbacks of a young Carmilla played in her mind.  
Carmilla brought the song to a close before tipping back the small amount of wine left at the bottom of the glass.  
Mattie walked into the room then, draped her jacket over the back of the armchair nearest to her and clapped quietly, so she didn’t startle her sister.

Carmilla’s head snapped up and placed the now empty glass on top of the piano, before half-sprinting into her sister’s embrace.  
Mattie swayed them from side to side, cradling Carmilla’s head like she always did, even when they were kids. Carmilla always felt safest like this.  
They stood in each others arms for awhile until Mattie broke the silence.  
“I see you started the party without me.” she said, causing Carmilla to pull back and look up at her confused.  
Mattie simply nodded to the two empty wine bottles on the coffee table, her brows furrowing in poorly hidden concern.  
Carmilla sighed and raked a hand through her hair.  
“I’m sorry, I should’ve asked.” she started to say before she was cut off from Mattie laughing.  
“You’re an adult, Darling.” Mattie reminded.  
“And besides, I have plenty more where they came from, nothing to stress your pretty little head over.” she added, waving away her sister’s worries.  
Still, Carmilla glanced down at her feet defeatedly.  
Mattie lifted her chin and waited until Carmilla looked her straight in the eye. When she did, Mattie could see the pain behind her sisters dark eyes.  
She caressed Carmilla’s cheek lightly, her own chest aching as the sad brunette leant into her touch. Mattie could tell that her sister had closed her eyes to stop the tears from falling, and she couldn’t help but pull her in for another hug.

Carmilla sank into her sister’s arms, but refused to cry. She was exhausted mentally, physically and emotionally, crying more wasn’t going to help solve anything.  
Mattie stroked Carmilla’s hair until she felt her sister go limp in her arms. She was lucky that her sister weighed next to nothing, as she carried her to the spare room.  
She tucked Carmilla in and placed a chaste kiss to her forehead, before brushing the brunette’s fringe off her forehead.  
“Sleep well, Mircalla.” Mattie whispered, a small smile curving her lips as a soft child-like sigh escaped Carmilla’s lips.  
Mattie left the room and went to tidy up, putting the empty wine bottles in the trash and the glass in the sink, before she retired to her room.  
She got ready for bed, trying to ignore the nagging feeling in her gut. She was glad her sister had come to visit, she’d missed Carmilla a lot. But she was concerned about what had caused her to visit on such short notice, and for god only knows how long.  
Before she fell asleep, Mattie decided that tomorrow she’d make it her mission, to find out what on earth was going on with Carmilla, then to draw up a game plan on how to fix whatever mess she’d gotten herself into.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Readers, I can't thank you enough for all the kind reviews. They truly mean the absolute world to me. I'm so grateful to each and every one of you for reading this little story of mine. I do hope you continue to read and leave your thoughts on the chapters to come. Thanks again, I hope you enjoy!

Perry hurried up the stairs after Laura, trying desperately to ignore the heated argument brewing between LaF and Danny downstairs. She needed to tackle one issue at a time, otherwise her anxiety would get the better of her.  
“Laura, Sweetie…” Perry cooed through the door, knocking gently, “Laura, please open the door, it’s just me.” she promised, her features scrunching in worry when she got no response.  
She remembered back to their Silas days, flashbacks of Laura’s severe panic attacks played in her mind and she gasped audibly.  
Laura had the unfortunate habit of fainting when things got just a little too much.  
Upon hearing Danny shout, “I think I would know what’s best for my fiancee!”, Perry knew it was best to keep them away from Laura, she was under enough stress as it was.

She tried to push the bathroom door open, until she felt something heavy acting as a door stop. Suddenly Laura slumped over and Perry caught sight of golden brown tresses and a limp hand, through the small crack in the door.  
Perry’s maternal instincts kicked in as adrenaline rushed through her veins. Where she found the strength, she’ll never know, but she managed to open the door just enough to slip inside and lock it behind her.

Perry rushed to the sink quickly before gathering Laura into her lap. She pressed a damp cloth to the unconscious girl’s forehead and gently tried to wake her.  
She could hear Danny and LaF still arguing downstairs, her lips formed a tight line and she rolled her eyes in frustration. She’d be having words with them both later.  
Laura came around a few moments later, confusion contorting her features as she blinked up to see Perry smiling warmly down at her.  
“Where am I?” Laura groaned, sitting up slowly.  
Perry made her lean back against the door, whilst she headed to the sink to get a glass of water.  
She returned and handed the glass to her friend, sitting down next to her and wrapping her arms around her knees.  
She watched Laura intensely as she drank and Laura felt a blush form on her cheeks, as she glanced out of the corner of her eye.  
“You’re still at my house. Danny and LaF are downstairs.” Perry informed her as Laura sighed and closed her eyes, leaning her head back on the door.  
Perry reached over to brush the hair out of Laura eyes before she spoke again.  
“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked, brows raised and voice slightly higher than usual.  
Laura took a deep breath in before exhaling and turning her head to look over at the caring redhead.  
“What’s to talk about? I’m engaged and my best friend up and disappeared on me, not even giving me the chance to talk this out with her.” Laura sulked, picking at a loose thread on the sleeve of her sweater.  
Perry opened her mouth to say something, then thought better of it and closed her mouth, instead opting for silence.  
Laura noticed this and raised a curious brow, “What were you going to say?” she asked, intrigued.  
Perry’s eyes narrowed as she tried to word what she wanted to say properly in her head, before speaking it aloud.  
“Do you have a right though?” she asked wincing, her voice impossibly high as she spoke the words.  
Laura’s brows furrowed in confusion, “What do you mean?”  
“Well, Laura… It’s really no secret that Carmilla’s had feelings for you for quite some time now… and you either haven’t acknowledged it, or you have and are ignoring it…” Perry started to say, speaking faster the more Laura’s face twisted into a mask of hurt and shock.  
“What I’m trying to say is that Carmilla doesn’t really owe you an explanation as to why she left. You’re with Danny… and just because Carmilla’s your best friend and has always been there for you whenever you needed her, doesn’t mean that something like this wouldn’t be extremely difficult for her. I’m sure she’ll just be gone a few days. She’ll be back in no time.” Perry tried to end on a positive, but clearly failed as Laura was struggling to find words.

 

“You mean you knew?! This whole time you knew?!” she whisper-yelled, not wanting to notify Danny of her whereabouts just yet.  
“Knew what, Dear?” Perry mumbled, lifting her head up lazily.  
“About Carm. About Me. About Carm liking me.” Laura rambled, searching Perry’s face frantically.  
Perry searched Laura’s gaze for a second before her eyes widened in disbelief.  
“You… You really didn’t know.” Perry mumbled, mostly to herself.  
“Of course I didn’t know!” Laura whisper-yelled once more, grabbing fistfuls of her hair and swallowing down the lump forming in her throat.  
Perry pat Laura’s knee gently, the silence being interrupted once again by the raised voices coming from downstairs.  
“What should I do?” Laura dropped her hands to her lap.  
Perry glanced up to see unbidden tears build in the girl’s hazel eyes. She smiled apologetically as she took hold of Laura’s hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.  
“That’s not up to me to decide.” she said sadly as she watched Laura’s shoulder slump in defeat.  
Laura slouched sideways, her head landing on her friend’s shoulder. Perry placed her cheek against the crown of Laura’s head and held her hand tightly.

They sat there for awhile, the redhead’s crazy curls tickling Laura’s forehead.  
“I don’t want to lose her.” her voice broke as a sob wracked through her tiny body.  
Perry’s heart shattered at how small Laura sounded. She wrapped her arms around her friend and hugged her awkwardly into her side.  
Laura let her tears flow freely, feeling guilty about soaking Perry’s sweater with her crying, feeling guilty for not having realised Carmilla’s feelings sooner, and a small part of her, the voice in her head, was guilty for saying ‘Yes’ and accepting Danny’s proposal in the first place.

A knock on the door snapped them back into reality. Perry motioned for Laura to splash some water on her face whilst she spoke to LaF and Danny outside quickly.  
Laura dragged her feet over to the sink, yawning on the way. She was exhausted from crying and tired of thinking about everything. She was dead on her feet.

Perry opened the door just a crack, glaring at both guilty parties before she slipped outside, guarding the door.  
Crossing her arms over her chest and waited expectantly for both redheads to explain their behaviour.  
Danny and LaF suddenly both found their feet infinitely more interesting.  
“Is Laura there?” Danny asked, looking like a kicked puppy.  
“Yeah, is she alright?” LaF added, putting their hands in their pockets.  
“Laura is in here, yes. And she will be staying the night.” she informed them in a formal tone.  
Danny’s brows furrowed in confusion and she was about to argue when Perry cut her off immediately.  
“That isn’t up for discussion.” She gave Danny a pointed look, who immediately bit back whatever retort she was about to spit out.

The door opened and Laura appeared, head down and wrapping her arms around herself.  
Perry wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pull her snug into her side.  
“I was just telling LaF and Danny here that you’re taking the guest room tonight.” Perry said, giving Laura a very obvious look and giving her shoulder a squeeze.  
Relief washed through her and she sagged into Perry’s embrace, “Yeah. I’m exhausted.” she said quietly.  
Danny didn’t bother to hide the hurt written on her face.  
“Okay, don’t come home with your fiancee then.” she said bitterly, shaking her head and placing her hands on her hips.  
Guilt sliced through Laura’s gut like a knife at that and she reached out for Danny.  
“I think I just need some space to clear my head.” Laura said, her voice pleading Danny to understanding.  
The tall redhead did the exact opposite and scoffed at Laura’s excuse.  
“Clear your head about what exactly?” Danny asked through clenched teeth.

Perry saw LaF’s hand ball into a fist at their side and shot them a piercing glare, silently warning them to stay out of it.  
“My best friend just up and left!” Laura raised her voice, anger stirring in the pit of her stomach.  
“What’s that got to do with anything, Laura? Carmilla practically gave you her permission to live your life, how big of her. What’s the big problem?” Danny spat back, towering over her.  
Laura couldn’t believe the words leaving her fiancee’s mouth. She knew Danny and Carmilla never got along, but she didn’t know just how much Danny cared.  
“First of all, I don’t need anyone’s permission to live my life. Certainly not my fiancee’s! And secondly, Carmilla is important to me. I’m not going to apologise for that!” Laura’s body shook with rage as the cold-hard truth spilled from her lips.  
Danny turned her nose up at her and huffed a laugh, “Of course, she’s more important to you. I mean it’s not like you accepted her proposal or anything, but no… don’t worry, I’ll just go home then. Alone.” she said, making a noise of disgust as she stomped down the stairs and slammed the front door behind her.

LaF raced down after her and locked the door behind her. Perry covered her face with her free hand and sighed. She hated confrontation and she was exhausted herself just witnessing the furious argument.  
Laura’s jaw twitched as she screamed internally. After counting to fifty in her head, she turned to Perry silently.  
Perry saw the fight leave Laura and lead her into the spare room. She left a spare pair of Lafontaine’s sweats out for Laura to wear, some clean towels and extra pillows too, just in case she needed them. Laura nodded her thanks, unable to trust her voice.  
The redhead left her with a brief squeeze of a hug and a parting kiss to her forehead before she left the room, closing the door quietly behind her.

Laura took a shower to clear her head, which didn’t work. She changed into the sweats and climbed beneath the covers, silently thanking Perry for letting her stay the night, and for also buying the most comfortable mattress she’d ever lay on in her entire life.  
Her phone buzzed on the bedside table and she nearly pulled a muscle in her neck from looking over at the screen too quickly. The huge part of her hoping it would be Carmilla ached when she saw ‘Sherman Hollis’ light up the screen.

Rolling her eyes, she lay back against the pillows and cleared her throat before answering.  
“Hey Dad.” Laura greeted, her voice an octave higher than usual.  
“Hey Pumpkin.” He replied cheerfully.  
There was a pregnant pause that lasted for far too long, and Laura winced, cursing herself for not being able to make up small talk to throw her Father off.  
“What’s wrong? What’s happened?” he asked then and Laura sighed, covering her eyes with her free hand.  
She opened her mouth to speak but nothing came. The lump in her throat returned and her yes started to water.  
“Laura?” her Father said wearily and her chest tightened.  
Her sharp intake of breath confirmed his suspicions that she was indeed crying.  
“Laura, Honey, talk to me… what happened? Are you alright?” his voice grew more and more worried.  
“I-I fudged up, Dad!” Laura cried, covering her mouth with her free hand as she tried desperately to stifle the sobs.  
“I fudged up so bad, Dad! And now she’s gone!” Laura bawled her eyes out. She turned her face into the pillow to hide her face.  
“Danny left?” he asked, confusion in his voice.  
“No!” Laura nearly shouted down the phone, her anger with her fiancee still boiling beneath the surface.  
“Carmilla!” she said sniffling.

Sherman was silent on the other end and Laura could practically hear him trying to work out where Carmilla had gone exactly.  
“Can I come stay with you for awhile? I’m staying at Perry’s tonight, but I just need to get away.” Laura asked sounding small.  
“Of course you can. You know you don’t need to ask, Pumpkin.” he was quick to reassure her.  
Laura felt an invisible weight lift from her shoulders.  
“But… you know that running away from your problems doesn’t help.” he added and Laura felt what was left of her heart, sink.  
“I know, Dad.” she croaked.  
“Well, it’s late. I’ll let you get some rest. Do you need me to come and pick you up?” he asked.  
Laura’s eyelids began to droop and she nodded in response.  
“Laura, Honey, are you still there?” Sherman’s voice woke Laura from her half-unconscious state.  
“Yeah-Yes, please.” she said sleepily.  
“I’ll see you tomorrow then. Sleep well, Princess.” he said before the line went dead.  
Laura mustered enough energy to put her phone on charge using LaF’s spare cable, before she collapsed into the pillows and bundled herself into a blanket burrito and surrendered herself to sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

Laura woke to the smell of bacon and hummed. She stretched and slid off of the heavenly bed, pulling on the Silas hoodie that Perry must’ve left on the back of the desk chair when she got up this morning.  
She heard muffled laughter coming from the kitchen. She walked in to find her Father sat at the kitchen counter, tucking into pancakes, Lafontaine pouring themselves a mug of coffee and Perry over by the stove.  
“Dad?” Laura wiped the sleep from her eyes.  
“There she is!” Sherman smiled. He dabbed his mouth with a napkin, before crossing the room and pulling Laura into his arms.  
“Did you sleep well?” he asked as he pulled back, returning to his place at the kitchen counter.  
Laura dragged her feet behind her as she entered the room further. Accepting a mug of cocoa from LaF and giving them a half-sleepy grateful smile.  
“Honestly, that bed is the most comfortable thing I’ve ever slept on.” Laura admitted, wiping some whipped cream from her lip and taking a seat next to her dad at the counter.  
Perry slid a plateful of freshly made pancakes in front of Laura, and pressed a chaste kiss to the side of her head.  
“You know, you’re always welcome here Laura. Any time.” Perry reminded her, before returning to the stove.  
LaF shook her head gazing lovingly at the back of Perry’s head.  
“Laura knows that Perr.” they laughed, stealing a piece of Sherman’s bacon from his plate.

Sherman’s shocked expression left Laura and LaF snickering like children.  
“You know, she always was my favourite.” he stage-whispered to Laura, pointing at Perry.  
The smug smile on LaF’s face morphed into a frown at that, just as Perry turned around and left a quick peck on their cheek.  
“Just kidding. I couldn’t possibly pick favourites.” he smiled warmly, pushing the last piece of bacon on his plate over to LaF, winking.  
They took a bite and hummed contently.  
“Don’t let Carmilla hear you say that.” LaF scoffed, “She’s convinced she’s your favourite.” they grinned, shaking their head.  
The fork in Laura’s hand dropped, a clattering sound echoing throughout the kitchen.  
Suddenly LaF’s words caught up with them and they covered their mouth. Perry smacked them on the arm and sighed.  
“Shit.” they mumbled, wincing. “I’m so sorry, Laura. I completely forgot.” they said, guilt written all over their face.

Sherman’s gaze flickered between the three of them and lifted his chin in the air, as if contemplating what to say, choosing his words extra carefully.  
Finally he turned his head to Laura beside him and found her hand balled into a fist, knuckles bone-white and her jaw twitching.  
“Speaking of, where is she?” he asked, his eyes trained on his daughter.  
Laura got up from the table, mumbling a ‘thank you’ to Perry and LaF for letting her stay the night and for making breakfast, before disappearing upstairs to get her things.

The tension in the kitchen dissipated when Laura left the room. Sherman raised a brow at LaF and Perry expectantly, waiting for one of them to tell him just what on earth was going on.  
LaF looked to Perry briefly, seeing her solemn nod of approval before they began to explain what happened.  
“As I’m sure you’re aware, Danny proposed to Laura…” they began to say, when they were rudely interrupted by Sherman choking on his coffee and spitting it all over the counter.  
Genuine shock and surprise etched his features as he looked over at Perry to confirm this information.  
Perry tilted her head at him, crossing her arms over her chest.  
“You mean Danny didn’t ask you for Laura’s hand in marriage?” she asked, peering over at LaF who was just as confused.  
“No, she absolutely did not!” he said, wiping the beverage from his chin with a tea towel.  
LaF reached up to scratch the back of their head then, their gaze landing on the bowl of strawberries in front of them.  
“So, I’m also guessing you didn’t know that Laura accepted?” LaF cringed when Sherman’s eyes nearly bulged out of his head and stood up abruptly.

He took a deep breath in through his nose and exhaled through his mouth, before he spoke again.  
“And what does this have to do with Carmilla?” he asked, pinching the bridge of his nose.  
“She… Well, she…” Perry stammered and Sherman’s gaze landed on Lafontaine to provide the info he needed.  
“Carmilla left town.” they sighed.  
Sherman nodded slowly as realisation dawned on his face.  
“Understandable.” was all he said, shocking both LaF and Perry.  
Upon seeing them staring at each other with puzzled expressions, he laughed lightly.  
“Laura doesn’t get her obliviousness from me.” he said, smiling wistfully as memories of his late wife replayed in his head.  
“She’s just like Esme… looks and personality-wise.” he hummed.  
Glancing up, he found small smiles on both LaF and Perry’s faces at the mention of Laura’s Mother.  
“Esme Hollis was one-of-a-kind.” LaF said, raising their mug of coffee up.  
Sherman smiled proudly, raising his mug of coffee also, clinking it with LaF’s mid-air. “That she was.” he said, barely a whisper.

Laura appeared in the doorway, eyes rimmed red. She’d clearly been crying upstairs. Perry’s heart throbbed painfully at the sight. She reached behind her for a tupperware container, she’d filled with homemade chocolate chip cookies and walked over to Laura handing it to her.  
A small smile played on Laura’s lips as she saw what was in the box.  
“Thanks, Perry… for everything.” Laura said quietly, leaning into the redhead’s embrace.  
LaF’s hands were in their back pockets, as they rocked back and forth on their heels.  
“I’m really sorry again, Laura.” they managed to get out before Laura grabbed them in a quick squeeze of a hug.  
“Thanks for letting me stay… and for dealing with Danny yesterday.” she said, her cheeks flushing with embarrassment.  
“I’ve always got your back, Frosh.” LaF winked, ruffling Laura’s hair, earning them the famous Laura Hollis puppy-dog eyes and pout combo, (or as LaF like to shorten it to ‘Carmilla’s kryptonite.’)

After saying their goodbyes, and about a gazillion thank yous, Sherman and Laura hit the road for the two hour long journey back to Laura’s childhood home.  
The drive was filled with small talk and a playlist of the most upbeat pop songs from the past decade. Her Father had clearly asked Lafontaine over breakfast, before she woke up, to create a list of songs on his phone that would put Laura in a good mood. She appreciated the effort, but there was only one thing in the entire universe that could restore her spirit and give her peace of mind, and that was to hear from Carmilla.

Every time she even thought of the brunette’s name, a sharp pain would shoot through her gut. Guilt. Danny had done this to her, made her feel guilty for being concerned for a friend’s well-being. And as Laura stared out of the car window, she began to wonder why she even felt guilty in the first place.  
Carmilla was her best friend. Danny was her… she sighed frustratedly and raking both hands through her hair, grabbing fistfuls as her breathing sped up.  
Sherman turned the music down and pulled over onto the side of the road. He got out of the car and rounded to open Laura’s door.  
She was having an ‘episode’ he’d called them. He undid her seat belt and helped her out of the car.  
“Laura, Honey, I need you to look at me okay?” he said in a calming voice.  
All Laura could think about was how Carmilla would use the exact same voice whenever Laura would wake up from a nightmare. She was always there.  
Laura clenched her eyes shut and felt her chest grow tighter as a sob started to build.  
“Laura… Laura… Breathe. In.” Sherman breathed in also, “And out.” he exhaled, repeating the action over and over until she copied.

Laura’s hands were still in her face as the sob escaped her, and she fell to her knees.  
Sherman crouched down to lean her against the car, as he held her.  
“W-w-what h-have I d-done?” she stuttered, her breath ragged.  
Only once before had Sherman seen his daughter cry uncontrollably like this. The first was when Esme had passed away. Laura hadn’t even cried this much when she’d broken her arm, falling off of her bike when she was eight years old.  
Half of Sherman understood why Carmilla up and left, but the other half was disheartened. In all his life, he’d never known a friendship like Laura and Carmilla’s. He and Esme would frequently talk about how they could see the girls growing old together. When the girls were young, they meant as just friends, but as they reached early teenage years, Esme was the first to suspect something a little more going on.  
Of course, Esme was right, as she always was. Sherman saw the spark for himself when it was Laura’s thirteenth birthday. His little girl was surrounded by friends and family, her birthday cake was glowing with colourful candles. She had the brightest grin on her face whilst everyone sang to her, and just before she blew the candles out, she glanced to her right, at Carmilla. Laura’s smile then turned shy and her cheeks flushed scarlet.  
Sherman remembers as if it were yesterday, how Carmilla had gazed at Laura with so much affection. As if Laura were the only one in the room. The fact way he looked at Esme the first time they met, on their first date, on their wedding day. 

Laura didn’t know how much time had passed, but her legs were starting to hurt. She took a few steadying breaths before standing and wiping her face on the sleeves of LaF’s borrowed Silas hoodie.  
Sherman eyed her wearily as he opened the door to the backseat for her. She looked up at him questioningly.  
“Lay down and take a nap, we’ve still got an hour and twenty to go.” he said pointing to the backseat.  
Laura yawned and climbed into the car. Strapping herself in, she lay lengthways awkwardly along the backseat, as Sherman got into the driver’s seat once more and started the car again.  
Laura tried to drown out the roar of the engine as she let her eyes slip closed, letting the motion of the car lull her back to sleep.

 

Sherman had dropped Laura off at the house so he could go to the store and pick up some things for dinner.  
Laura left her bag by the front door and made her way up the stairs. She opened the door to her old bedroom and took a moment to remind herself to breathe. She and Carmilla had stayed in this room many a time. Staying up until the ungodly hours of the morning, sharing secrets and giggling and cuddling, just feeling safe with each other.  
Whenever Carmilla would stay over, she’d sleep on the left side of the bed. As the thought crossed her mind, Laura found her feet leading her to the left side of her bed.  
Her phone buzzed in her back pocket just as she kicked her shoes off.  
‘New Text Message: Danny <3’ the screen flashed and Laura groaned.  
Not your typical reaction to receiving a text from your fiancee, but in that moment she couldn’t care. Laura threw her phone across the room and curled up on Carmilla’s side of her bed, wrapping the blankets around her snugly as she cried herself into exhaustion again.

Laura traipsed down the stairs after Sherman called to let her know that dinner was ready.  
She hadn’t bothered to splash any water on her face, so he was greeted with a red-nosed, glazed-eyed version of his daughter. Biting back any comments he had, he sat down opposite her at the table and forced a smile before tucking in.  
Laura twirled the spaghetti on her fork, pushing the meatballs around the plate and picking at the garlic bread with her fingers.  
After half an hour of silence, Sherman wiped his mouth with the kitchen roll, took a gulp of his water and cleared his throat, settling his gaze on Laura.  
“Were you going to tell me that you were engaged?” he asked, folding his arms on the table. The tone of his voice made it obvious that he was annoyed about it.  
Laura looked up at him from beneath her lashes, her eyes darting back down to her plate. After a moment of awkward silence, she finally spoke.  
“I-I…” she started to say but found no words say.

Sherman sat back in his chair, stretching his arms above his head before getting up out of his chair and sitting down in the one next to Laura.  
“I mean, I’ll admit I’m old-fashioned… I just thought whoever would ask you for your hand in marriage, would at least honour tradition and give me the courtesy of asking me first.” Sherman said, looking down at his hands before he addressed Laura again.  
“All I want is for you to be happy… and if you’re happy with Danny, well then… Congratulations, Pumpkin.” he said, reaching for her hand and giving it a slight squeeze.  
Laura worried her bottom lip between her teeth as her mind raced a thousand miles a minute.  
“Danny does make me happy. We were happy. I love her. But the thought of not having Carm in my life is just too much. I can’t risk it. I mean, I knew Danny and Carm didn’t get along, and I never really understood why but…” Laura was cut off by Sherman huffing an amused laugh.  
She frowned at him and he shook his head laughing as he explained, “Carmilla and Danny were constantly at each others throats because they both loved you.” he said it as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.  
“You knew?! You knew about Carm this whole time and didn’t say anything?!” Laura’s voice reached several octaves higher as hurt and betrayal masked her features.  
Sherman gave Laura a pointed look before he spoke.  
“Of course, I knew. Your mother did to.” he shrugged and Laura’s face grew incredulous.  
“Oh, come on Laura. That girl has been in love with you for years. You can’t seriously tell me that you never had even an inkling that she may have had feelings for you?” He raised a brow.

Laura’s face dropped as his words sank in. Sudden flashbacks of her childhood played in her head. Carmilla’s treehouse. Laura’s sleepovers. How they’d spent every weekend together and summer break, despite going to different schools for two semesters before Carmilla transferred to Laura’s school.  
One memory in particular played and Laura remembered it as if it were yesterday. The day Laura had found out about her Mother, she’d called Carmilla and the brunette was there instantly, and after Esme had passed, despite living three blocks over, Carmilla would go over to the Hollis’, every single day after school for exactly two months, just so she could hold Laura as she drifted off to sleep. Then she’d walk home and do the same the next day.

Sherman got up and went into the other room for a moment, he returned with a box and placed it on the table in front of Laura.  
The sound of her Father clearing his throat, broke her out of his thoughts. She looked down at the box and then up at her Father, a silent question in her eyes.  
Sherman huffed a nervous laugh before tapping the lid of the box with the tip of his index finger.  
“She made me promise never to tell you about this.” he confessed, a small uneasy smile playing on his lips.  
Laura’s brow furrowed, “Who did?”  
“Carmilla.” he said barely above a whisper and Laura’s whole body went rigid.  
Sherman met his daughter’s tense stare and nodded slowly, “But I figure it was so long ago now that it wouldn’t matter.”

Laura couldn’t find the words to speak, so she just screamed at him internally to hurry the hell up.  
“Remember when that guy who was late to pick you up and take you to prom?” he asked and Laura felt her empty stomach drop with dread. She simply nodded, unable to speak still.  
“Well, I had sort of… maybe… called Carmilla.” he admitted, avoiding Laura’s piercing glare.  
“I knew she wasn’t going to her own prom and I couldn’t bear to see you stood up, so I called her and she said she was going to be about twenty minutes. So, I stalled for as long as I could. Then there was a knock at the door. I opened it, thinking it would be Carmilla, but it was that Kirsch guy. You were just driving away when Carmilla showed with this in her hands, panting and dressed in a borrowed suit of her brother’s.” he recanted the story sadly, watching as Laura’s wide eyes filled with fresh tears.  
A tear fell as she looked down at the box laying on the table in front of her.  
“She left this with me, saying she had no use for it and made me promise never to tell you because she was embarrassed enough at it was, so I kept my promise and never told you.” he sighed, scrubbing a hand over his face.

Laura shook her head at him, a look of ‘how could you.’ written all over his face.  
“Open it.” he said, guilt and regret washing over him.  
Slowly, Laura opened the lid, her chest tightening uncomfortably as she did so.  
A beautiful corsage lay neatly inside and Laura’s heart broke. She had no idea that any of this had taken place. She then thought to herself that if she had, maybe she wouldn’t have wasted so many years not being with her.  
And it was in that moment, she realised that she loved Carmilla. Loved the little things about her, like the sound of her laugh and the way her smile lit up her face. The way how even after every fiery argument they’ve ever had, whenever Laura has needed her, she’s been there, even when she was still pissed at Laura. Carmilla was loyal and caring and intelligent and beautiful and perfect in every conceivable way, and Laura was in love with her.

Sherman watched as realisation dawned on Laura’s face. The silence in the room was deafening, but it was worth it when he practically saw the light bulb on top of her head flicker to life.  
“Holy Hogwarts.” she breathed, peering over at her Father with a shell-shocked expression.  
Sherman laughed heartily, patting his daughter on the shoulder.  
“And the penny drops.” he teases lightly.  
Laura smiles briefly before her face drops as Danny enters her thoughts.  
“Danny.” is all she says, looking horrified.  
Her father bit it lip for a moment, contemplating.  
“Do you love her?” he asked.  
Laura thought about it for a split second, “I… I do.”  
Sherman raised a brow at the hesitance in her voice. “Are you sure you don’t just feel comfortable? You’ve been with Danny for a few years, but that doesn’t mean you have to settle, Princess.” he said.  
Laura took a steadying breath as her brain went into overdrive.  
“It wouldn’t be right to marry Danny if I have these feelings for Carm.” she said looking down at the corsage once more.  
“What do I do?” she asked him in a small voice.  
“That’s not up to me to decide, Princess.” he smiled sadly, tilting his head slightly at her.

Laura rolled her eyes and groaned loudly.  
“You sound just like Perry.” she whined and he shook his head at his daughter’s dramatics, smiling fondly.  
“Forget Danny for a moment. Forget Carmilla. Forget me. Forget everybody and close your eyes for a moment.” he said, leaning towards his daughter.  
Laura nodded, unsure of where her Father was going with his train of thought, but nevertheless closed her eyes anyway.  
“What do you want?” he asked in a calm voice.  
Raven-hair, an infuriatingly sexy smirk and and long high-knee socks flash behind her eyelids and Laura swallowed to wet her suddenly dry throat.  
“Carm.” she mouthed the words, unable to properly speak.

When she opened her eyes, Sherman was wearing a shit-eating grin.  
Laura’s cheeks flushed scarlet as she smiled bashfully.  
“Your Mother’s still right, even after she’s gone.” he said, huffing a laugh in disbelief.  
“What do you mean?” she said, twirling a forkful of, now cold, pasta.  
“She always knew. I don’t know how, but I’m now convinced that she was a genius.” he said laughing heartily.  
“You know she’d never let you live that down if she were here, right?” Laura giggled around a mouthful of cold spaghetti.  
Sherman rolled his eyes fondly before standing to take his plate over to the sink to wash it.  
“Oh, I know.” he said, his smile widening at the sound of Laura’s laugh echoing around the room.

Laura finished her dinner and Sherman insisted she go choose something on the TV to watch whilst he finished the dishes.  
She chose Orphan Black and waited for her Father to join her. She’d been going on and on at him for months to start watching the show, where Tatiana Maslany plays a billion characters yet they don’t look alike. Sherman nodded whilst Laura repeated her passionate speech, which he’d already heard time and time again, about how Tatiana invented acting and she should win every and all awards.  
Finally she pressed play on the first episode and snuggled into his side with an excited grin on her face and a whispered, “You’re gonna love it! Trust me!”  
Sherman wrapped his arm around his little girl’s shoulders and pressed a chaste kiss to the crown of her head, before turning his undivided attention to“the TV show of the century.” as Laura so animatedly put it.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello readers, I'm so sorry for the lack of updates, and the fact that this is a short chapter. I've not been that inspired recently and what usually encourages me is reviews.. so let me know what you think? I'll try and update more regularly, however for the whole of JUNE '17 I'll be on holiday, but I feel connected to this story again, so hopefully you'll stick around.

It had been a whole three days since Carmilla came to stay with her sister, and as much as she loved Mattie, she wasn’t expecting her hard-working lawyer of a sister to have taken leave from work, to seemingly spend each and every waking minute with heart-broken brunette since she’d arrived.

Carmilla supposed Mattie was just trying to keep her distracted, when really all she was accomplishing was tiring Carmilla out from constant questions and “catching up” as she’d labelled it. Despite having grown up with Carmilla, Mattie seemed to have either forgotten, or was purposefully ignoring, the fact that when it came to talking about your feelings, Carmilla wasn’t the most open and it made her extremely uncomfortable.  
After multiple brief half-hearted arguments, Carmilla found herself slouching further into the armchair of the coffee shop, her eyelids drooping on a concerned looking Mattie.  
Mattie was replying to various emails on her phone when a soft child-like sigh escaped her sister’s lips, across from her. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen the usual guarded brunette, look so at peace. The once permanent crease in her brow, all but vanished as her chest rose and fell with each intake and exhale of breath.

Mattie knew just how much she’d missed Carmilla, but had no idea how much her slumbering sibling had in fact missed her, until a whispered whimper of “I’m sorry, Mattie.” escaped Carmilla’s partially open lips. A twinge of guilt twisted Mattie stomach as she reminded herself that she could’ve reached out to Carmilla sooner herself. 

Carmilla had barely slept at night since her rash decision to stay with Mattie, as she knew whole-heartedly that her mind would plague her with torturous dreams of the world’s most impressive rambler and her warm hazel eyes. She found her thoughts leading to her best friend, despite her not falling asleep for the exact same reason. She found herself growing increasingly impatient with herself, as the lack of sleep was bringing out the worst in her.

By day four, Carmilla found herself staring at the alarm clock on the bedside table. 5:02am flashed red and she felt herself groan inwardly. She was both exhausted, yet entirely too awake and she felt her frustration course through her veins.  
The smell of coffee hit her nose and for just a moment, she managed to convince herself that she’d reached the point of exhaustion where hallucinations were starting to kick in. But then came a crashing sound from the kitchen, and Carmilla remembered that Mattie was an early riser due to the high value clients she had.

Anyone who knew Carmilla well enough, knew that she was not a morning person and in fact was very rarely seen out and about, before noon. However since coming to stay with her sister, she’d been treated to the obnoxiously loud coffee machine each morning. The smell of freshly ground coffee beans, both appealing but also nauseating at the same time.

Knowing she wouldn’t be falling back to sleep any time soon, Carmilla dragged her feet to the kitchen which was just down the hall. She was surprised to find William searching the cupboard, for what she could only guess was a mug for the coffee he’d just brewed.

He hadn’t noticed her sudden appearance in the doorway and a small mischievous grin curled her lips.  
“I thought you were, Mattie.” she said, taking small pleasure in startling her brother so much, he dropped the ceramic mug in his hand, and wincing as it smashed onto the floor with an echoing thud.  
“Jesus!” Will panted, eyes wide and clutching his chest.  
“Nope, just me.” she quipped, taking a seat at the kitchen island opposite him.  
William rolled his eyes, “Ha, ha!” he shook his head bending down to scoop up the shattered fragments to dispose of them properly in the trash.  
“When did you get back?” Carmilla asked him s he filled two mugs with coffee and slid one across the marble bar top, to his sister.  
He squints down at the watch on his wrist before he replies.  
“About an hour ago.” he says, taking a sip of his beverage before continuing.  
“Mattie text me to say she’d been called into work for an emergency with some client or other, so I said a quick goodbye to Kirsch before stopping by your place to pick up your guitar…” he gestured towards the couch where he’d left the expensive instrument, in her custom-made leather-clad guitar case.  
“I got here just in time to see Matska leave for work.” he explained, placing his now empty mug into the sink. 

Carmilla appreciated her sibling’s efforts to make her feel better, but seeing William sag against the kitchen counter with dark circles under his eyes, just made her feel all sorts of guilty. Especially when he covered his face with his hand briefly to try and stifle a yawn he hoped Carmilla hadn’t noticed.  
“You really should get some sleep.” she said, finishing her own coffee and placing the empty mug next to his in the sink to be washed.  
Will opened his mouth to respond with no doubt a smart-ass comment, so she cut him off before he could do so.  
“And don’t tell me that you can’t sleep now because of the caffeine… because we both know you built up a tolerance to it during your finals back in college, and the caffeine probably actually helps you sleep now instead of the exact opposite.” Carmilla hadn’t noticed she’d been rambling like a certain honey-haired beauty, that she was trying desperately to take a break from thinking about, until she glanced up and saw her brother staring back at her with a brow raised and wide eyes. Clearly he’d noticed, and the sad smile that etched itself on his face made Carmilla’s stomach churn. Pity. The one thing she did not need right now, or ever at all in fact, was Pity.

Sensing his sister’s mood turn sour, he realised how she must’ve interpreted his reaction and shot her an apologetic glance. They had been so close growing up that Mattie used to say Carmilla and William could communicate telepathically, and for the most part they could. She knew he wouldn’t pity her, and also reminded herself of how severely sleep-deprived she was herself, meaning her already short-temper was rearing it’s ugly head.

As her brother stood with his mouth ajar, unable to think of a response, Carmilla took a deep breath, placed the two mugs she’d just rinsed out, on the side to dry, before turning to face him. “Plus, that was probably decaf anyway.” she said accusingly, her brow raised and a small smile curling her lips.  
Will visibly deflated as he sighed defeatedly, and she knew she’d caught him out.  
“Go catch up on sleep. If Mattie asks, we went to the art museum.” Carmilla said, ushering Will to the other guest room, his room.

She didn’t give him a chance to reply before she closed the bedroom door behind her.  
After hearing his hushed, “Fine.” from the other side of the door, she went back to her room to try and catch up on some much needed sleep herself. Even if that meant waking up to a throbbing Laura Hollis-sized hole in her heart.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is Danny/Laura centric.. let me know what you think? (And as always, Enjoy!)

Laura Hollis was at the supermarket, picking up something that her father had asked her to, seeing as she’d barely left his house since her “realisation” of her feelings for her best friend.  
She was just about to turn down the next aisle when she nearly collided head-on with a shopping cart.  
All the blood drained from her face as her gaze cast upward, to find a familiar tall redhead standing before her. The awkward silence deafening.  
“Danny.” Laura choked out, clearly surprised to see her   
Danny’s attention dropped to the floor. She’d missed Laura, but she was still pissed at her for the radio silence since she’d left LaF and Perry’s nearly a week ago.  
“Laura.” she replied, her tone colder than intended and much more formal than either of them were used to.

She’d half expected the tall redhead to be annoyed at her, but the multitude of emotions, each conflicting with another, set Laura’s stomach into a frenzy. The next words to escape her mouth weren’t fully thought through, but the increasingly uncomfortable situation brought out the rambler in her.  
“Fancy seeing you here?” she laughed half-heartedly.  
As soon as the words left her mouth, she cringed inwardly, catching Danny wince briefly also, from the corner of her eye.  
“I didn’t think I’d see you here… or anywhere for that matter, seeing as you’re avoiding me.” Danny said in a weak attempt to sound bitter, whilst scuffing the toe of her sneaker on the floor.  
Looking anywhere but at her absent fiancé. The girl who had both stolen her heart and broken it.  
Laura’s heart plummeted as the usually tall redhead suddenly seemed very small.

Laura had been thinking a lot lately, and whilst she did still love Danny, she realised it wasn’t in the way she once did, or thought she did. She still respected Danny enough to call things off, she just wanted at least one more day of wallowing at her fathers house, before she was planning to contact Danny so they could talk about things.  
It wouldn’t be fair to either of them if they saw this engagement through, as Laura was beginning to realise with each that passed, just how deep her harboured feelings for her best friend ran.  
The same best friend she dreamed every night about, with that infuriating smirk and ridiculously attractive smile she makes just for Laura’s eyes only.

Danny cleared her throat to gain Laura’s attention.  
Shaking out of her reverie, she suggested what she should have done days ago.  
“I think maybe we should talk.” she said warily, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth and fidgeting with her hands as she watched a range of emotions cross Danny’s face.  
After a moment, the redhead scoffed and shook her head in disbelief.  
“Really? I never could’ve guessed from you dodging all my calls and ignoring my texts.” she half-spat.

Laura closed her eyes and counted to ten. ‘I suppose I deserved that.’ she thought to herself.  
“You’re damn right, you do.” Danny mumbled, all the bite from her voice previously had disappeared.  
Laura’s eyes shot open. She hadn’t realised she’d spoken her thought aloud.  
Bit before she could get a word out, the look on Danny’s face silenced her.  
Never in all the time she’d known her, had Laura ever seen Danny look so hurt.

As unbidden tears filled Danny’s eyes, Laura felt a lump form in her throat.  
“We were friends before we started dating…” she said, glancing down and wiping a stray tear away before looking Laura in the eye again. All the Laura could do was nod in agreement. The lump in her throat effectively choking her so no words could escape.  
“I guess…” she trailed off, thinking of how to word herself properly, “I guess I just thought that maybe you could talk to me about things… about anything… as friends, like we used to. I think when we started dating, we just sort of stopped all that.” Danny sighed, wiping a few more stray tears and smiling sadly down at Laura.

Swallowing down the guilt, Laura finally managed to speak.  
“Y’know I hadn’t had a girlfriend… before, you.” Laura smiled, reaching forward to take hold of Danny’s free hand with both of hers, before continuing, “And honestly, if I could go back and change anything, it’d be that we’d still talk about stuff as friends. Meeting you was one of the best things that happened to me, at Silas. Even before we started dating, you were one of my closest friends, Danny.” she said, looking up at her with a watery smile.  
“We’ve had so many laughs over the years…” as Laura said those words, a small smile played on Danny’s lips, “…and I really do still love you…” Hollis continued, squeezing Danny’s hand gently.  
She closed her eyes for a beat, before looking up at her again, the sincerest of apologies shining in her teary hazel eyes.  
“Just not how you deserve…” her voice broke and Danny’s eyes closed, letting free the tears she’d been desperately holding back.  
“I’m sorry.” Laura sobbed, bringing the hand of Danny’s she was still holding, up to her lips to press a feather-light kiss to the back of the redhead’s trembling hand.

All of Danny’s pent up anger and frustration at the woman standing before her, had completely vanished. She pulled Laura into her, with the hand that the shorter girl was still holding, and wrapped her arms around her, hugging her tightly.  
Closing her eyes, she allowed herself a few moments to bask in the warm embrace of the girl she loved, and engrave them to memory.  
Burrowing her face into honey-brown locks, the intoxicating smell of Laura Hollis was the first thing Danny decided, she would commit to memory. It was a mixture of something sweet… probably cookies, knowing Laura, and something floral.

It never phased Danny, whenever she’d have to reach down to hug the shorter girl because once in Laura’s arms, every care in the world would disappear. That was the second thing Danny decided to commit to memory. The indescribable feeling she’d get when Laura would hug her, or hold her hand and every little thing she’d been worrying about previously, would just vanish at Laura’s touch.

The third thing Danny decided to commit to memory, was the feeling of safety that spread through her whenever Laura was around. Even before they had started dating, Danny had always felt she could trust Laura with anything. They genuinely cared about each other, sometimes to a fault on her part, and that was something she didn’t think either of them would ever question. Their friendship was built on solid trust and from that blossomed a beautiful bond that, even though they were breaking up, Danny wouldn’t change for the world.

Time seemingly stood still, as they did in each others arms. Both of them silently thanking whatever deity out there for having brought them together in the first place, and that there was still a lot of love and mutual respect between the two of them.   
When Danny heard Laura sigh contently and felt her shoulders ease ever-so-slightly, she decided to commit a few last precious things to memory. Moments that were too valuable to forget, like the smile Laura makes when she’s sleepy after having binged too many Doctor Who episodes, or the giggle that escapes her when finds something hilarious, or the small crease she gets in her brow when she’s trying her hardest to figure something out. They all add up to a pretty extensive list of reasons why she adores this girl, and probably always will.

They were broken out of their moment by a disgruntled and seemingly homophobic, old lady needing to reach something on the shelf they were currently standing in the way of.  
“Could you perhaps do whatever it is you’re doing, oh I don’t know… somewhere else?” the woman snarked and both Laura and Danny glanced at each other with disbelieving looks in their eyes.  
“Well?” the woman asked, raising her voice a little more.  
Laura stepped out of the circle of Danny’s arms, much to the disappointment of the redhead, and rolled Danny’s shopping cart out of the way for the elderly woman.  
“Of course, I’m so sorry. We were just-” Laura’s long-winded apology was cut short.  
“I didn’t ask for your life story, Dear.” the woman said rudely before placing the items in her shopping cart and strolling out of sight.

“I thought old people were supposed to be nice?” Laura pouted.  
Danny chuckled at that, leaning on her shopping cart for support.  
Laura turned to find Danny laughing hysterically, and the sight caused her pout to quirk into a smile instead.  
They stood their laughing together over the situation that had just occurred. Neither one believing the audacity of the old woman.  
Once they both calmed down, Danny glanced down at her watch briefly and cursed under her breath.  
“Shit.” she muttered, “I’ve gotta go. I told my mom I’d be back with groceries at two o’clock.” she said sighing. The look in her eyes betraying her, showing Laura just how reluctant she was to leave.  
Laura nodded and tucker her hair behind her ear before speaking, suddenly nervous to even ask what she had in mind.  
“Would you maybe want to get some dinner together, sometime soon? As friends?” she felt her palms begin to sweat as soon as she asked.

Danny thought about it for a moment before nodding slowly.  
“I’d like that.” she smiled and Laura grinned.  
“I’ve missed you, Laur… being your friend… like, before all this happened.” Danny confessed, her gaze casting downward as she switched from foot to foot. Her telltale sign that she was nervous or uncomfortable.  
“I’ve missed you too, Danny.” Laura said, smiling sadly.  
They both reached for each other once again, this time for just a brief hug.  
“I’ll text you to see when you’re free?” Laura suggested.  
“Sure. I’ll see you… around, I guess?” Danny huffed an awkward laugh and shrugged. “I don’t really know what to say. We live together, but we’re staying at our parents houses, haven’t spoken in a week and just had a deep and meaningful talk in the pasta aisle…” she laughed at the absurdity, causing Laura to laugh with her.  
“I’ll be back next week.” Laura said smiling, feeling somewhat happy for the first time in days.  
“See you next week then.” Danny said, before heading to the check-out out of sight.

Laura continued the grocery shop, then her way home and cooked dinner for herself and her dad. She told him about her day, about bumping into Danny and how at first it was extremely awkward, but they spoke and agreed to stay friends.  
Sherman expressed how impressed he was that they were mature enough to handle breaking up as civilly as they had. But also brought up the fact that it won’t be easy to just go back to being friends again, which Laura explained she knew and they’d get there eventually, but Danny wasn’t someone she wanted to lose, and at the mention of that, he said one word, and one word only, which caused Laura’s stomach to drop instantly. Carmilla.  
She hadn’t been able to get ahold of the girl for nearly a week, hadn’t seen her properly for about three weeks and all those thoughts combined were enough to send Laura’s mood back to zero on the happiness scale. She was back to square one and as she shovelled a forkful of peas into her mouth, she tried desperately to come up with a plan on how to find her.

Settling on using her journalistic instincts and just winging it, she bid her dad an early goodnight and sprinted to her room, to her desk where her laptop was.  
If LaF wasn’t going to tell Laura where Carmilla was, she’d damn well find her maddeningly beautiful best friend, herself.


	9. Chapter 9

Mattie had herself a whole string of demanding clients, taking up her each and every hour of each and every day, leaving her no time to spend with Carmilla and actually having to spend most nights on the camp bed in her office, instead of going home.  
Carmilla didn’t mind though. She had Will to keep her company. She was worried for her sister’s sanity though. She’d rang one day, around the time Mattie would usually take a break for lunch, only to be put on speaker phone whilst she heard Mattie’s fingers type furiously on the keyboard to her computer, and only mumbling her responses to Carmilla’s questions.

It’d been almost two weeks since Carmilla had come to stay with Mattie, and since Mattie went back to work, she hadn’t seen her in four days straight. William was getting worried about her too, so after they’d both showered and gotten ready, they stopped by a coffee shop to pick up something caffeinated for their workaholic sister.

Arriving at the grand building, they entered the revolving door and were momentarily left speechless at the pristine and lavish decor that furnished the lobby.  
Carmilla and Will both looked at each other with wide eyes, before a clearing of someone’s throat behind them, got their attention instantly.  
Turning around, they found a slim blonde woman with glasses resting on the tip of her nose and her hair tied up into a neat bun. A fixed smile etched on her face.  
“Can I help you?” she asked, eyeing both Carmilla and William, taking in their clothes and assuming they were in the wrong place. They were dressed far too casual to actually have meant to walk in here, she thought to herself.

Carmilla didn’t like her tone and her eyes narrowed as she leant on the reception counter, eyeing up the woman in the same judgemental way she had just done with her and her brother.  
William’s eyes flickered between the two women, knowing exactly how Carmilla was and what she was about to do. He’d been on the receiving end of one of his sister’s infamous glares many a time whilst growing up, and he was actually impressed that it didn’t even seem to phase the woman at all.  
“Actually, you could start by wiping that pathetic excuse for a smile off your face.” Carmilla suggested, as her face morphed into the exact same rehearsed smile as the woman before her, who was now standing up from her chair, behind the desk.  
The blonde tilted her head with a curious look in her eye as the smile slowly slipped from her face.  
“Anything else I can help you with?” she asked through gritted teeth.  
Carmilla could see the woman’s hand ball into a fist and she smirked triumphantly, causing the woman glower at her.

William scrubbed a hand over his face and sighed. He would tell Carmilla to knock it off, but he knows she’s still sensitive right now, even though she won’t openly show it, he knows that she is still hurting from… even thinking Laura’s name made him feel guilty, as if he was betraying his sister. Which was ridiculous because Laura hadn’t done anything, besides break Carmilla heart. Unintentionally of course. He knew how clueless Laura was about Carmilla’s feelings for her because he’d witnessed it all too many times. He still liked Laura, but preferred to just not think or talk about it, as Carmilla would only tense up and leave the room instantly whenever he’d bring it up by accident.

Carmilla’s gaze landed on the woman’s name badge and took a mental note of it, so she could complain to Mattie later about how she really didn’t like this Betty woman.  
“I’m here to see Mattie.” she said, enjoying the way Betty’s face twisted with confusion.  
“No one with that name works here.” the blonde said, raising a brow and looking over Carmilla’s shoulder at Will standing behind her.  
“Matska.” he supplies her with his sister’s full name and watches as Betty’s eyes widen slightly.  
“Ahh, Ms. Belmonde…” she replies, glancing down to the screen on her computer before addressing William again, “I’m afraid she has no appointments available today, or tomorrow. Or the next six months actually.” she says, an insincere apology in her tone.  
Carmilla cleared her throat then, gaining Betty’s attention. She was bored and getting sick of looking at this woman’s face.  
“Which floor is she on?” Carmilla asked, her tone bored.  
Betty’s face twisted into the rehearsed smile that Carmilla loathed, once again.  
“I’m sorry, I don’t think you heard me. Ms. Belmonde isn’t free.” she said, narrowing her eyes at the brunette.  
Carmilla looked behind her at Will for a moment and let out an amused chuckle.  
“And I don’t think YOU heard ME.” Carmilla replied, plastering on the infuriating fake smile before she continued, “Which floor does my sister work on.” she said, revelling in the pure shock on Betty’s face as she realised she was just rude to someone who could quite literally get her fired in an instant.  
“Y-your… your sister, of course… Right.” Betty stuttered, “Ms. Belmonde’s office is on the thirteenth floor.” she said, warily making eye contact with Carmilla.  
Carmilla squinted, pretending to read Betty’s name badge. “Betty, huh? Interesting.” she mused, before turning away and heading to the elevator with William tailing her.

As the doors shut, Carmilla could see Betty leaning against the counter with her head in her hands, clearly chastising herself for having been so rude to a partner in the company.  
“You didn’t have to do that y’know.” William sighed, breaking Carmilla from her thoughts.  
She raised a brow in silent question up at him.  
“I know what floor Mattie’s office is on.” he said and Carmilla rolled her eyes, sighing dramatically.  
“Well why didn’t you say so?!” she punched him in the bicep.  
“Because I figured you needed to get some snark out of your system.” he joked, earning himself another punch to the arm.  
“She was a bitch.” Carmilla muttered, crossing her arms over her chest.  
William just hummed his agreement, sensing his sister was about to elaborate on her valid comment.  
“Nothing annoys the shit out of me more, than being judged for how I look.” she spoke through gritted teeth.  
William chanced a glance down at his sister to find her nails digging into her forearms, her eyes clenched shut and her biting down on her bottom lip, to stop it from quivering.  
All of which were tell-tale signs that she was close to breaking down. The inevitable that himself and Mattie had been waiting for since Carmilla had arrived. Sure, she’d cried… but not enough. She hadn’t spoken about it. She’d done what she always did and hid the heartbreak, expertly.

Carmilla could hear only a buzzing in her ears. She wasn’t even aware that the doors to the elevator had opened, before she felt William’s arms scoop her up.  
A loud knock on the office door sounded before it flung open, revealing a trembling Carmilla in a frantic-looking William’s arms.  
Mattie didn’t even apologise to the important client on the other end of the line, before she hung up the phone and was at Will’s side in an instant, closing the door behind him.  
He placed Carmilla down on the expensive looking leather couch, and Mattie instantly wrapped her arms around her. Seeing that Carmilla was in Mattie’s embrace, he walked over to the water machine in the corner of the room and filled up a plastic cup, his eyes never leaving his sisters.  
He placed the cup down on the coffee table in front of them and sat down gently beside the trembling brunette.

Mattie pulled Carmilla onto her lap, tucking the brunette’s head under her chin and held her close. Over the top of Carm’s head, she could see just how panic-stricken William was, his eyes glued to his younger sister, searching desperately for a way to help calm her down.  
Carmilla was crying to the point where she couldn’t catch her breath fast enough, she’d far surpassed sobbing and was now in hysterics.  
Mattie began to hum the melody to one of Carmilla favourites classical pieces of music, as she rocked her gently from side to side.  
After awhile, the brunette gained control of her breathing and clung to Mattie tighter. It wasn’t long after that, that the sobs turned into yawns and the tears left glistening tracks down her cheeks.

William wasn’t quite well versed in law as Mattie, but he certainly wasn’t stupid either. He knew enough to help write up divorce papers for a number of Mattie’s clients for her, whilst she cradled the broken brunette.  
Never in his whole life had he seen Carmilla this distressed. Not after their childhood pet cat Bagheera had passed away. Not when Mother had shunned her after she came out as gay. Not even when their Father had passed away, and Carmilla was the apple of her Father’s eye. They were unbelievably close, and yet she’d remained stoic throughout the entire funeral and months after that.

“It’s hurts so bad.” Carmilla whined, her arms clutching her chest.  
Mattie tucked a stray brunette curl behind Carm’s ear and pressed a lingering kiss to the crown of her sister’s head.  
“I know, Darling.” she whispered gently, rubbing soothing circles into Carmilla’s back. Wincing slightly as she felt the ridges of her sister’s spine poke out prominently.  
She’s far too thin, she thought to herself, cuddling her just that much closer.  
“S-saying her name hurts.” she stuttered quietly, her head resting on Mattie’s shoulder now.  
Reaching behind them, Mattie grabbed the fleece throw which rest along the back of the couch and pulled it over them.  
She could never lie to Carmilla and she wasn’t about to now. “It will do.” she admitted, moving so they lay lengthways along the couch. She hadn’t been sleeping much lately due to demanding clients and worrying about Carmilla, but now that the breakdown had happened, she felt a bit better for being there for her sister when it happened, no matter how painful it was to witness.  
“Rest now, Carm.” she whispered, her own eyes drooping from lack of sleep.

Will left Mattie desk briefly to cross the room and pull the blanket securely over both his severely, sleep-deprived sisters.  
He took a moment to see how peaceful they both looked when they slept. They’d all been so close growing up, he’d missed spending time with them both.  
Before he returned to the desk, he faintly heard Carmilla mumble the name of the girl she was no doubt dreaming about, over and over with every breath she took.  
“Shh, Mills. Go to sleep.” he whispered.  
“Laura.” said sighed once more, as a single stray tear fell down her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to hug Carmilla and never let her go.. what about you? Let me know what you think?


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in one day?! (I know... I'm just as surprised as you are)
> 
> I guess you could say that I've been a little more motivated thanks to all your kind comments and feedback!
> 
> As always, please let me know what you think, and I hope you enjoy!

It’d been three weeks since Carmilla left. Laura had said goodbye to her Dad, with promises to visit again soon, and returned to her old apartment to collect her stuff, before moving into LaF and Perry’s spare room. She’d barely slept since she started her search for Carmilla, using all the resources at her disposal and relaying on her journalistic instinct, but after the fifth day she was beginning to seriously doubt her skills.

Perry made sure Laura was still eating, but there was an uncomfortable tension that hung in the air whenever Laura found herself left in a room with LaF, even just briefly. She’d been hesitant to accept the offer at first, but she had nowhere else to go. She couldn’t still live with Danny in the apartment they’d shared, and her Father lived too far away for her to commute to work back and forth every day. So she’d accepted the offer, albeit a tad reluctantly due to LaF not mentioning Carmilla’s whereabouts or even bringing her into casual conversation like they used to always do.

Laura was sat at the table in the kitchen, munching on a spoonful of her favourite cereal, when she noticed LaF staring at her over the top of the paper they were pretending to read.  
The awkward tension in the room was back and Laura decided she’d had enough. It was time to face this head on, no one dancing around the matter.  
“Did you want to stare at me all day or are you actually going to say something?” Laura asked, nothing bothering to look up as she spoke.  
She heard LaF cleared their throat and heard the rustle of the newspaper being folded and placed on the table.  
“I…” LaF began to say and Laura hesitantly peered over at them.  
“I’m sorry.” they said and Laura’s brow creased with confusion.  
“Sorry?” she repeated, raising her head, looking over at them fully.  
“I’ve made things uncomfortable. It’s not how I wanted to have handled it, and I’m sorry.” they said, their shoulders slumping as their gaze dropped to the table cloth.  
Laura took a deep breath in and sighed, as a weight lifted off of her shoulders. Now they were being open with one another, they could talk through this mess once and for all.  
“It has been awkward.” Laura agreed and LaF shook their head, scrubbing a hand over their face as they let out a frustrated sigh.  
“But I guess I haven’t made things any easier.” she admitted quietly, chewing on the inside her cheek.  
LaF uncovered their face and smiled sadly at her.  
“I know you’ve been looking for her.” they said, their tone apologetic, “But I’m her friend too and I don’t want to see her hurt, just like I don’t want to see you hurt, Laur.” they confessed, the look in their eyes pleading Laura to understand.

Laura pushed the bowl of half-eaten cereal away from her ever-so-slightly before she answered, thinking carefully about what she was going to say.  
“I understand that you’re both of our friend, I really do… and I don’t want to hurt Carm either, and now that I know how she feels, I need her to know that I’ve left Danny. The reason she left was because I’d stupidly said yes. But she still doesn’t know that we’ve broken up, that I’m not marrying Danny and it’s killing me everyday thinking I’ve lost Carm too.” Laura’s voice got higher as she spoke, due to the unbidden tears filling her eyes.  
LaF moved to a chair closer to Laura and took hold of the hand that wasn’t wiping away fallen tears.  
“But just because you and Danny aren’t together, doesn’t mean she’ll magically feel better, Frosh.” they said gently.  
Laura frowned at her and opened her mouth to speak, but LaF cut her off before she could get a word out.  
“You know Carmilla better than anyone and you know, that if she found out you and Danny were no longer together, that she’d blame herself. You know that even though she didn’t particularly like Danny, she’d still feel guilty…” they said and Laura nodded sadly.  
“…and you know that you can’t just waltz into Carmilla’s life expecting you two to get together either.” they sighed, giving Laura’s hand a little squeeze.

That right there, the painful truth, took the wind from Laura’s lungs as if she’d just been given a blow to the chest.  
“But now I know!” she whined as tears fell freely down her face.  
LaF knew she meant that now she knew how Carmilla felt about her this whole time, but that was just it. She’d only just come the realisation, whereas Carmilla had loved Laura wholeheartedly for years.  
“I’m not gonna sugar-coat it, Laur… when we met for drinks that day, she tried so hard to act indifferent about it, but I saw the look in her eyes. She was crushed.” they whispered the final word and Laura closed her eyes, her chest aching painfully.  
“If you went to her now with your new found revelation, you know how she’d be… she’d wonder why it took you a handwritten guide from her, to figure out she was head over heels for you.” they spoke the truth, and Laura knew she needed to hear it, no matter how excruciating it was.

They sat in silence for awhile, LaF’s thumb gently brushing the back of Laura’s hand they were still holding.  
Once Laura had gained control of her breathing, she looked up with red, puffy eyes.  
“She’ll torture herself, wondering why she wasn’t good enough…” Laura said, the lump in her throat growing as a new wave of tears built.  
LaF squeezed her hand, encouraging her to continue her train of thought, letting her get everything off her chest instead of keeping it inside.  
She cleared her throat and spoke hoarsely “..when really I was just too god damn naive and fucking stupid to see that she was it for me. Always.”  
Laura’s gaze was trained on the table cloth, so she didn’t notice the widening of LaF eyes as she swore, followed by a sad smile at the confession.  
“Whenever I pictured my future, she was right there beside me, I never thought too much about it… but she was always there.” Laura glanced up at LaF and gave them a watery attempt of a smile.

LaF’s phone buzzed on the table beside them and they glanced over to see it was a text from Carmilla. Slowly they pocketed their phone, successfully not raising Laura’s suspicions. They’d reply to the brunette in a moment once they finished talking it out with Laura.  
An idea struck them then and they took a moment to decide if they should even suggest it or not.  
Laura looked up once LaF let go of her hand and wiped semi-dried tears from her face with her sleeve.  
“I could ask Carmilla when she’s coming back.” they said, tapping their fingers on the table in a fast-paced rhythm.  
Laura’s eyes lit up, silently pleading them to find out if she’s okay.  
Just the thought of seeing Carm again left Laura unable to speak, as another lump formed in her throat. So she just nodded frantically.  
LaF chuckled lightly and nodded, “Alright then.” they said before standing.  
They left the room with Laura’s gaze trained on their back until they were out of sight.  
Just the thought of seeing Carmilla left butterflies in her stomach and an excited grin spread on her face. Half of her knew that she shouldn’t get too excited… but the other knew it was already too late. 

 

————————————

Instead of reading the text from Carmilla, LaF decided to call her instead.  
After three rings the brunette’s voice echoed down the line, bringing an involuntary smile to LaF’s face, as they exhaled a breath they hadn’t realised they’d been holding in.  
“Hey!” the brunette sounded unusually chipper, causing LaF to laugh.  
They checked the time on their watch before replying, “Hey, I didn’t think you’d be up… it’s only eight thirty… in the morning…” they teased lightly.  
The sound on the other end left them baffled, ‘did Carmilla just snort?’ they thought to themselves.  
“Ha. Ha.” she said and LaF could practically hear the eye roll in her voice.  
“So, when are you coming home?” LaF asked slightly distractedly, as they inspected a small graze on their forearm that they hadn’t noticed before.

Carmilla’s laughter died down almost instantly as she cleared her throat.  
“Oh, I thought you’d be happy for me.” she said, sounding slightly taken aback.  
LaF wasn’t really paying too much attention as they wracked their brains about how they could’ve gotten the graze.  
“Hello… are you there?” the brunette asked, snapping the redhead out of their thoughts.  
“What? Sorry… I have this cut on my arm and I no idea how I got it and…” LaF shook their head, getting back on track.  
“So, when are you coming back?” they asked again, this time paying attention.  
“You didn’t read my text.” Carmilla concluded.  
“I thought I’d ring instead, check in… see how you were doing.” LaF said as a bad feeling began to brew in the pit of their stomach.  
“I’m not coming back.” the brunette said quietly.  
LaF scoffed at that, “But seriously when are you coming back?” they asked again.  
“If you’d read my text, you’d know that I’m not. I’ve been looking at apartments… and I start working full-time at the firm from Monday next week.” she said, a slight smile in her voice.  
“Oh…” was all that would leave LaFontaine’s mouth.  
“Wow, don’t get too excited for me.” the brunette’s tone dripping with sarcasm.  
“No. I mean… that’s great! I’m… that’s great.” LaF managed to get out.  
Carmilla laughed lightly at their reaction, clearly amused.

Hearing the brunette laugh made LaF think twice about what they were going to say. They couldn’t be selfish and ask her to come back. So they decided to support her, despite the fact they’d miss having her sarcastic ass around.  
“That’s really great, Carmilla.” they said, schooling their features and thanking the heavens that their voice came out steady.  
“You already said that…” Carmilla pointed out and LaF could hear the smirk in her voice.  
Rolling their eyes, they echoed her from earlier, “Ha. Ha.”  
Getting back into their usual banter helped to settle the bad feeling in the pit of LaF’s stomach.  
They had their back to the door way and were currently standing, staring out of the window.  
“So, the firm huh? I thought you said you’d never go full-time? I believe you used the word, ‘over my dead body’, if I’m correct?” they teased lightly.  
“I didn’t think I would to be honest. But staying with Mattie, seeing her more often… and Will too, it just feels right, y’know? I’ve missed them more than I knew.” she admitted and as she spoke, LaF was nodding in silent understanding.  
“So Mattie’s is where you mysteriously left on a train to.” they concluded, “How is that Darling sister of yours doing, anyway?” they did their best Mattie imitation saying ‘Darling’, causing Carmilla to spit out whatever drink she had just had in her mouth.  
“She’s great. Working too hard, the usual, but she’s good. How’s the missus?” the brunette asked, referring to Perry, although LaF and Perry weren't technically married, Carmilla had always said they might as well be.  
“Perry? Oh, she’s great.” they said, momentarily forgetting who they were speaking with, “Yeah, I mean with Laura staying here, it’s stressing her out a little because you know how Perry gets with her way of cleaning things and…” they were stopped mid-sentence.  
“Laura’s staying there…” the brunette’s voice sounded lost and LaF mentally berated herself for even bringing Laura up.  
Carmilla hadn’t really asked, but LaF apparently had a serious case of foot-in-mouth disease and decided to answer her anyway, before they could stop themselves.  
“Yeah…” they only managed to get out before a shuffling sounded from behind them.

Turning, they found Laura staring at the phone by their ear intently.  
“Is that her?” she asked, taking a step forward, her eyes not leaving the phone.  
LaF glanced down at the phone, then at Laura, then at the phone again, finding themselves unable to speak.  
“Was that her?” Carmilla’s voice drifted through the phone, sparking LaF’s ability to communicate again.  
They covered their mouth with their free hand and spoke quietly into the phone, as if Laura wasn’t standing two feet away and could hear everything they said.  
“Yeah.” was all they said.  
A deafening silence filled both the room and phone line.  
Laura stared at the phone longingly, clutching her hands to her chest as if to stop herself from reaching out.  
“Did you… did you want to talk to her?” LaF asked awkwardly, their gaze dropping to the floor, away from Laura’s face.

LaF didn’t know how much time had passed before she heard a hushed “Okay.” sound through the phone.  
With wide eyes they held the phone out to Laura, shrugging as Laura delicately placed the phone next to her ear.  
Laura could hear Carmilla’s steadying breaths echo down the phone and tears automatically sprung to her eyes. She had to question whether or not she was dreaming this.  
“Carm.” Laura breathed a sigh of relief, cradling the phone with both hands next to her ear.  
A sharp intake of breath sounded on the other end, and Laura waited with baited breath to hear the voice she’d dreamt about. The voice of her best friend who she hadn’t heard from in almost a month.   
Instead of hearing a voice though, she heard nothing. Pulling back, her eyes zeroed in on the words ‘Call Ended.’ and Laura’s hopeful smile was wiped away in an instant, a hurt frown taking it’s place.

 

————————————

“Laura.” Carmilla managed to say, her voice breaking only slightly.  
When she heard nothing, she pulled back to see a black screen.  
Panic rose to the surface as she pressed the home button and found the dead battery sign, illuminate the screen.  
“FUCK! FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!” She yelled, throwing the phone against the wall, causing it to narrowly miss one of Mattie’s priceless artefacts on the mantle, and instead bounce off the hardwood floor and, by some sick twisted fate, landed on the couch beside her once again.

Carmilla’s jaw was clenched tight, as were her fists as she tried to control her temper from flaring again. She stared dangerously down at the device to find the dead battery sign illuminate the now -cracked phone screen.  
Will appeared in the doorway panting, with a look of alarm on his face.  
“Is everything alright? I heard…” he didn’t get to finished before Carmilla pocketed her phone and stalked passed him and into her room, slamming the door behind her.

Cursing under her breath, she put the phone on charge, this time flicking the switch so the phone actually charged.  
A small knock came sounded and Carmilla pinched the bridge of her nose.  
The slight creak of the door alerted Carmilla of William’s presence.  
“I’m sorry. I just… my phone ran out of charge and I was in the middle of talking to…” Carmilla sighed frustratedly, grabbing fistfuls of her hair.  
A muted thud dropped on the bed beside her, followed by the slight creak of her bedroom door being closed again.  
She glared over to find William’s cell laying next to her, unlocked with the phone app open for her to type a mobile number in.  
A small smile curved her lips as she picked the phone up and instantly dialled the number she knew off by heart, belonging to a certain hazel-eyed beauty.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tiny chapter, I know... I'm soooooo sorry. But that cliffhanger was killing ME!  
> I'm away for the whole of June, but this story is NOT over. Please share with people you think would like it and as always, let me know what you think?  
> Love you all & have a great... month of June? Summer? idk... take care people x

Carmilla held the phone against her ear as she paced back and forth.  
“C’mon, c’mon, c’mon…” she mumbled, hearing her heartbeat pound in her head.  
The phone rang once, twice, three times and her nerves grew significantly with each second that passed.  
“Pick up, pick up, pick up!” she muttered a little louder this time, the phone nearly slipping from her grip as her palms started to sweat.

Just as she was about to give up, the other end of the line picked up.  
A muffling sound echoed through the phone and Carmilla’s brows furrowed in question.  
“Hello?” she asked, briefly wondering if she’d typed the number in wrong.  
“Hel-Hello?” a familiar male voice drifted through and one of Carmilla’s brows raised slightly in confusion.  
“Mr. Hollis?” she asked, before she heard a grunt, a loud thud, and then finally a whispered curse.  
“Are you alright, Sir?” she asked, her tone concerned.  
After an exasperated sigh, she heard a slight chuckle.  
“Sorry about that… I just tripped…” he replied and Carmilla released a breath she hadn’t known she’d been holding.  
“Are you ok?” she raked an anxious hand through her hair, pacing again.  
A hearty laugh sounded, easing Carmilla’s worried thoughts instantly.  
“I’ll be fine.” he reassured her, “More importantly, how’s my girl?” he asked and Carmilla could hear the smile in his voice.

A pang of guilt made her chest ache as she realised Laura must not have told him about her abrupt disappearance.  
“I-Um… I…” she took a moment to collect her thoughts so she’d be able to form an actual sentence or two.  
“I actually haven’t seen Laura in awhile.” she admitted, wincing slightly as she mentioned her best friend’s name.  
Pacing the floor, she anxiously scratched the back of her neck, in that irritating nervous tick of hers, waiting with baited breath for what, she had no idea. His Confusion? His Anger? His Disappointment? She’d known the man for awhile and had grown fond of him, so the thought of disappointing him caused her anxiety to flare up again.

Sherman’s hearty chuckle sounded again and took Carmilla by surprise. That was not the reaction she was expecting.  
“I know…” he said causing Carmilla’s brows to furrow in confusion once more.  
“But I was actually asking about you.” he admitted, the smile and genuine care in his voice made her heart swell. She hadn’t grown up with a father, he’d died when she was much too little to remember anything about him, so she suspected that may have been a reason why she’d grown so close to Mr. Hollis in the first place.  
“I’m…” she paused, she couldn’t lie to him, but she didn’t want to worry him either, “Okay.” she tried to say lightly, but it came out as more of a question.  
“Who are you trying to convince here, you or me?” he teased lightly and Carmilla rolled her eyes, and sat on the edge of her bed, to stop herself from pacing.

The silence that proceeded wasn’t awkward, in fact, it was comfortable. Knowing that he wasn’t mad with her was truly a godsend.  
“For what it’s worth, I don’t blame you.” he then said, breaking the comfortable silence and causing Carmilla’s heart to race.  
“You don’t?” she hadn’t realised she’d said the words out loud.  
“Of course not.” he assured her, “I’ve been where you are, Kid.” he admitted, taking Carmilla by surprise. “It’s… well, not to be dramatic, but it’s torturous. To watch the one you love with someone else.” he said, his tone apologetic.  
A furious blush coloured Carmilla’s cheeks at the word ‘love’ and she sputtered for a second.  
“Love? Nobody said anything about love…” she muttered, momentarily forgetting who she was speaking to.  
“Kid, when are you going to realise that you can’t pull the wool over my eyes?” he admonished lightly, and Carmilla rolled her eyes, sighing in defeat.  
“I’ve seen the way you look at her. It’s exactly how I looked at her mother.” he said smugly and Carmilla had to bite her lip to stifle a grin.

The real reason Carmilla rang suddenly came flooding back and the half smile on her face vanished as quickly as it had appeared.  
“She… she doesn’t want to talk to me, does she?” she hated how vulnerable she sounded.  
“I wouldn’t know, she left her phone here by accident when she stayed here for two weeks.” he told her, giving her all the information she needed to put the pieces together for herself.  
Realisation dawned on her after a moment and she sighed in relief. Laura isn’t ignoring her, she just doesn’t have her phone.  
But then the panic set in, Laura doesn’t have her phone which means she probably thinks that Carmilla had just hung up on her.  
As if sensing the puzzle pieces fitting together in Carmilla’s head, Sherman laughed lightly before he spoke once more.  
“I think she’s staying at LaFontaine and Perry’s.” he said knowingly, and Carmilla once again rolled her eyes fondly at the smile in his voice.  
“Got it.” she said, hesitating as she figured out the right words to thank him.  
“Go get her, Kid.” he said giddily. Carmilla’s laugh the last thing either of them heard before the call ended and she grabbed her jacket, making her way out the door.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I rushed this at the airport before boarding the flight, as I won't have access to my laptop, due to no longer being able to have a laptop in your carry-on anymore. So forgive me, this is short again, and it may feel like it's being dragged out, but I have a few surprises, twists and turns in store for you.
> 
> Please bear with me! I am very grateful you've stuck with this thus far. If I don't update before June ends, then I promise you the next chapter will be in July.
> 
> I personally love the idea of Perry mothering a tired Carmilla. As always, I love to know what you think, so please leave a comment and let me know what you think?

By the time Carmilla arrived at LaF and Perry’s house, she’d already had to take a train, a bus and then a taxi, after she’d gotten off at the wrong stop, ending up miles away from where she needed to be.

She was exhausted emotionally, mentally and physically. The only thing keeping her going is the thought of seeing Laura, hugging her and not letting go. At this point, she could care less about what had happened in the past few weeks. All she wanted, was to wrap Laura in her arms and take a nap. She missed just being with her the most, whether that mean watching her study herself into an anxious mess , back in their uni days, or just watching her discuss her favourite tv show, usually Orphan Black, passionately with one of her friends.

As she made her way up the stairs to the front door, she noticed all the lights in the house were out. Checking the time on her phone, from her back pocket, briefly, she noticed that the time was only 9:30pm. Sure, she knew it was a week night, but she didn’t think that the Science Nerd would’ve let Curly Sue talk her into having an early night. At least not before 10:30pm. That was the time Carmilla and LaF would usually check in with each other, before calling it a night.

Of course, there was always the possibility that LaF had managed to convince Perry to go out for the evening. Break her usual routine in favour of a relaxed date night, so that thought alone was what spurred Carmilla to knock, hoping that Laura would answer.  
No one answered after she knocked the first time, so she waited for a moment before knocking once more, just in case no one heard the first knock.

Carmilla was halfway down the path when she heard the front door open behind her. A frazzled looking Lola Perry stood squinting in the doorway.  
“Carmilla?” her high-pitched voice made Carmilla wince slightly.  
“Hey, sorry… I was wondering if I could speak to Laura? I have to-” she was cut off mid-explanation.  
“Honestly you two are going to give me grey hairs!” the ginger scolded, pinching the bridge of her nose and exhaling a defeated sigh.  
Carmilla approached the front door hesitantly, her brows drawn together in slight irritation at Perry’s tone.  
“Excuse me?” she asked, narrowing her eyes at the woman ever-so-slightly.  
Perry dropped her hand dramatically to her side before crossing both arms over her chest.  
“She isn’t here. Sherman rang LaFontaine to tell them about Laura leaving her phone, so of course Laura panicked and insisted LaF either drive her to retrieve her phone from her dad’s house, or to…” Perry trailed off as Carmilla answered for her.  
“Mattie’s.” she raked a hand through her hair, annoyed at herself for not seeing this coming.  
Perry hummed in agreement, leaning against the door frame, smiling apologetically at Carmilla.

After an few minutes of awkward silence, Carmilla finally voiced her thoughts.  
“So… do you know where she went? Her dad’s or Mattie’s?” she asked, rocking back and forth on her heels.  
Perry shook her head and Carmilla’s visibly sagged. The only reason she’d had an inkling of energy was nowhere near, and she felt her eyelids start to droop.  
“Ok, well thanks for the info.” Carmilla turned, waving behind her as she slowly made her way down the steps from the front door.“Oh, sorry to have woken you too.” she added quickly, tripping over her own foot down the path causing Perry’s heart to nearly beat out of her chest.

Wrapping her dressing gown around her more securely, she raced after Carmilla before she could fall over again.  
“There is no way you’re making your way back to your sister’s tonight, Carmilla. It’s too far and you’re in no state to be traveling alone. I wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight, knowing I let you take almost 2 hours worth of unreliable public transport at this time of night.” Perry mothered her, wrapping her arm around Carmilla’s shoulders and led her back into the house.  
As she closed the front door behind them, she heard Carmilla shiver as her body adjusted to the heat of inside the house. A stark contrast to the cold outside. Perry’s heart clenched at the sight, so she gently led Carmilla to the guest room.  
“You’re staying here the night and you can make your way back tomorrow after breakfast.” Perry informed, she wasn’t asking.  
Carmilla was that drained, she could only mumble ‘thank yous’ repeatedly before falling into the guest room’s bed.

Before Perry closed the door to the room, she took one more glance at the raven-haired woman. In all the time she’d known Carmilla, she’d rarely been given a sincere ‘thank you’, let alone given a glimpse of this softer side of her, the side she only revealed to Little Miss Laura Hollis.  
Carmilla was curled up like a cat on top of the covers, fully clothed, soft snores escaping her parted lips.  
Perry went to the cupboard at the end of the hallway and returned with a thick blanket. She draped it over her sleeping friend, and pressed a chaste kiss to Carmilla’s head before leaving to go to her bedroom.

After getting comfortable, she sent a swift text to LaFontaine, suggesting - not asking - that Laura and themselves stay the night at Sherman’s, because she didn’t want them driving back late at night. Once she received a ‘Yes, Dear’ text with a kiss face and heart emoji, she made sure her alarm was set for the morning, and then placed her phone on charge on her bedside table.  
Then succumbed to sleep.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I am SO sorry to my long-time readers. I did not intend for it to take this long for me to update. I would have sooner, but I came down with a bad case of writer's block. Lost motivation etc. 
> 
> So, I'm really sorry but here's a new chapter. Hope you enjoy... :)

Carmilla woke up around 1:30am. She was spooning a pillow that smelled like Laura, the combination of cookies, vanilla and something so distinctly Laura, that reminded Carmilla of home, made the brunette’s chest ache.

Checking her phone, Carmilla found she had seven missed calls and fifteen unanswered texts from Mattie. She unlocked her phone and scanned through the messages. Each of them lengthy and expressing concern for how worried Mattie is about her. Worried that Carmilla was making things worse for herself, and reminded her that Mattie had been there for every breakdown Carmilla had gone through, and there had been more than the brunette cared to admit to.

Feeling a lump start to form in her throat, Carmilla blinked the unbidden tears away as she came to the conclusion in her head. She would start work at the firm two days from now, and not look back. She’d spent too many years pining after her best friend, and despite how empty her life would be without having as much of Laura in it as she’d like, she really did owe it to herself to move on. To try and be happy.

The brunette placed her phone back on the bedside table, feeling the weight of sleep in her bones as she yawned and tried to stretch. Figuring she’d get some more sleep before the sun rose, Carmilla got comfortable once more, snuggling into the pillow beside her. With her mind made up, she let herself have one final night, wrapped in the smell of Laura, trying desperately not to imagine the cupcake’s arms wrapped around her, at the feel of the duvet secure around her waist.

 

LaFontaine and Laura left the Hollis house, not long after Sherman had insisted they stay for breakfast. They were at the intersection when Laura asked LaF to take a right. The redhead raised a brow in confusion, before telling Laura that left was the way home, but they ultimately turned right at Laura’s insistence.

“Mind telling me where exactly it is that we’re going?” LaF asked, breaking the awkward silence.  
Laura mumbled under her breath, worried that once LaF found out where exactly it was Laura wanted to go to, they’d turn the car around and head back.  
“I didn’t quite catch that.” they peered over at the short brunette, briefly.  
“Mattie’s.” Laura sighed, chancing a glance at LaF’s reaction.  
A mix of different emotions flitted across the ginger’s face. Surprise, realisation, concern, resignation. With an exasperated sigh, LaF simply turned the radio on and kept driving.

 

Perry made breakfast and packed Carmilla a tupperware filled with, what can only be described as a packed lunch, for the long train journey back to the city. The brunette rolled her eyes fondly as she leant against the window of the train, watching as the trees whizzed past in a blur of different shades of green.

Carmilla busied herself with checking emails. Mattie’s assistant Natalie had sent the brunette various emails regarding the newest cases, making sure that Carmilla was getting the relevant information about the firm’s slight changes. It had been awhile since Carmilla had worked there and a few things had changed since then.

The brunette stepped off the train with a huff, her phone only had 12% battery left and Carmilla could feel her anxiety spike. She never left her phone get below 50% battery, in case of emergencies she’d reason.  
She was just stepping out of the station when her phone rang, it was Mattie. Bracing herself for the berating she’d no doubt receive from her sister, she took a steadying breath before accepting the call.  
“Morning.” she smiled despite herself.  
“Where have you been?” Mattie replied, no greeting, Carmilla winced as she realised she hadn’t responded to her sister’s texts. She must’ve been out of her mind worried.  
“I stayed at a friend’s. I’m sorry I didn’t message sooner, I completely forgot.” she explained, as guilt settled in the pit of her stomach.

Standing at the traffic light’s, she tapped her foot as she waited impatiently for the light to turn from red to green.  
“You need to get home now.” the tone of her sister’s voice was enough to alarm Carmilla that something wasn’t right.  
“Why? What’s going on?” the brunette asked, worry creeping into her voice.  
The lights turned from red to green, finally.  
“The little moppet is here.” Mattie’s words caused Carmilla’s limbs to seize up.

She froze in the middle of the road. The green man was still flashing, signalling for pedestrians to cross.  
However, the brunette’s mind couldn’t focus on that, or on anything else, besides the fact that Laura was there, and Carmilla couldn’t move.  
“Darling, did you hear me?” her sister asked, obviously displeased that Laura had had the nerve to show up at all.  
But just as Carmilla was about to reply, she turned her head at the last minute, to see a car coming towards her, in literal slow motion, like in the movies.

Carmilla blinked, effectively breaking the spell of slow motion. She was hit hard. Thrown through the air, she hit the ground with a crack. Her head throbbed painfully, the pounding of her heartbeat drowning out any other sound. The pounding in her head got louder and faster as she tried to take a breath. Her chest was heavy, like something was pressing on it, knocking the wind out of her. She tried to scream, but felt something slide down her cheek instead. Everything was black. She couldn’t see anything, only feel. Excruciating pain all over.

After what seemed like a lifetime, but could have very well only been a few minutes, Carmilla found herself wondering if it were possible to die from being in such an amount of pain. That thought led to one, where she began questioning whether or not she was more hurt physically, mentally or emotionally.  
Either way it didn’t matter. Carmilla found herself growing numb. Accepting the fact that she was most probably dying, but that it wasn’t such a bad thing, as now she wouldn’t be a burden to anyone anymore.  
With that final thought, she pictured Mattie and Will. An overwhelming sense of calm taking over her. Then Laura appeared and Carmilla succumbed to the darkness willingly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, please let me know what you think? It'll help motivate me to write the next chapter, haha!


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